Plenty of sports and real-life news broke during my time away from the blogging world. I'm sure if I took the time to recount them all, there would be more pressing news than this, but it's March, and my alma mater hired a real coach (no disrespect to David Cox) in former Dayton and Indiana head coach Archie Miller. And I am pumped!!! Plus, today was his official introductory press conference and he's a dude named Ryan who goes by another name. We're basically twins.
I wish I was there to ask the hard hitting questions. As the creator of @URIprobs, which automatically makes me a top 500 alum, I deserve a press pass.
Sure, from the jump, he was lying through his teeth saying that URI (a school with 10 career NCAA tournament bids) was "synonymous with success on the basketball court," but as we all know, you gotta lie to make it in college sports. What's he supposed to say, "URI is synonymous with starting the season like 14-3 then falling off the face of the earth?" We all remember the Baron Years.
I love what this move says about the program and university going forward. They didn't cheap out and hire some no-name assistant; they spent serious cash and brought in a semi-proven name. Sure, coach Miller wasn't great at Indiana, but who really has been since Bobby Knight? Maybe he's just a stray A-10 cat coming home? The Rams "tried" to keep Danny Hurley in 2018 after leading URI to two straight round of 32 appearances by promising to finally pour some money into the program. Once he left for UCONN, so did URI's desire to act like a division one program. Now a few years later, URI is paying the big bucks to bring the basketball program into the 21st century.
Now, do I think Archie Miller will be at the University of Rhode Island for this contract's duration? No. If he leads URI to, let's say, two NCAA tournament berths in the next three years, I'm sure the power five will come-a-knockin', but for now, URI has a coach with a track record of legitimate success in the Atlantic 10 (14) conference.
Arch has me ready to run through a brick wall. The redemption tour starts in Kingston!
Miller's time at Dayton was highlighted by four straight trips to the dance, started by a run to the Elite 8 (which is the furthest URI has ever gone in March; 1998) in 2014.
Basketball is just in the Miller DNA. Archie is the brother of former Arizona coach Sean Miller. Sean coached at Xavier in the A-10 from 2004-05 to 2008-09 and was just rehired on March 19th, but they're now in the fake Big East. Still, maybe we'll see a Miller-bowl in non-conference? There's still a lot that needs to be done in Kingston to rebuild this program. I think first and foremost they need to scrap their Walmart logo and adopt this fire flames design.
I'm sure with the transfer portal and Miller's name recognition, the Rams will bounce back in 2022-23, but it's way too early for realistic expectations.
I just know after waiting almost 20 years for an NCAA berth (well, like 15 for me because I didn't really care about URI basketball until I was in high school) then two straight trips to the dance, parlayed with the success of Ed Cooley's Friars, I miss URI being a relevant mid-major. I have all my eggs in the Ryan "Archie" Miller basket. I want the Ryan (us) Center to sell out consistently and maaaybe get a center court scoreboard like an actual D1 program. URI's irrelevance made it harder for me to give a fuck about college hoops the last two years (plus covid-world, mental stuff, and working a job I hate), but I cannot wait for next season. The Rams are BACK! (with perhaps a real offense????)
MOOD
— Doz #HireDozo (@DozonLife) March 20, 2022
P.S.
That jacket cannot get retired already. That's a A-10 Tournament Finals jacket. RHODY, RHODY, RHODY!
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Song: The Lightning II (2022)
Artist: Arcade Fire Album: WE
Hopefully, this posts *fingers crossed emoji*. After Tuesday's disaster, I was kindaaa frustrated/busy with doctor's appointments and a 2nd Tame Impala show in five days, but I'm back now (if Weebly will let me). Happy belated 50th birthday, Mark. I tried; I really tried.
As for Arcade Fire,
The video is technically for two songs, but I can only share one song from Apple Music on my IG story; so consider part I a bonus!
As if the C's blowing a 13 point lead on his jersey retirement day wasn't bad enough (stop me if you've heard that before in a game involving KG), Tom fucking Brady had to cuck KG's big day (and Selection Sunday) by announcing he's no longer retired.
I mean, even though Brady said he was hanging them up a whopping 40 days ago (after denying rumors the previous day), I never truly believed it. I've spent a lot of years worshipping this man. There was no way in Hell someone as competitive as TB12 was gonna go out on an L after nearly pulling off a 27-3 comeback to the eventual Super Bowl champs.
I love Brady, and of course, I wish he wasn't playing in Tampa. I don't blame him for wanting to run it back after the fantastic season he put together at 44 years old, but he could've announced this tomorrow, or the next day, or even two hours ago. But the fact that he had to upstage Kevin Garnett like that rubs me the wrong fucking way like Mr. Kraft in a raided rub and tug. This is why people haven't fucked with Brady for two decades. This was a dickhead; please look at me move. I don't know if he's jealous that someone who actually sealed the deal in 2007-08 was getting his flowers today but to quote Michael Scott:
P.S.
I'm sure it was a collector and not some average Joe who spent his life savings on it but talk about brutal timing with this purchase:
Double P.S.
Seriously Tom? Not only did you fuck over KG, but you screwed over Ole Dozo too. But that's nothing new to you, is it? Yes, I love writing and want to write for Barstool more than anything I've ever wanted or will want in this lifetime, but bro, I just rocked my face off to Tame Impala less than 24 hours ago and slept for maybe four on a soft mattress that made my back turn into peanut brittle. It's a recovery, do-nothing day. It's Sunday night, and I'm just trying to chill. There was no need to announce this news tonight—Brett Brady over here, smh.
Triple P.S.
I guess Brady's timing has something to do with the start of free agency.
But it doesn't change the fact that he 1000% cucked KG's number retirement ceremony. He could've dropped the news now and everything would've been fine. And I didn't even get into the part of how fucked it is he's doing this to all of his fans who already processed the end of his career. Now we/they have to go through all that again next year and/or the year after that. Just a selfish, un-Patriot like move by a guy who said he's FOREVER A PATRIOT then bounced for scuzzy Tampa.
Song: Why Won't You Make Up Your Mind? (2010) Artist: Tame Impala Album: Innerspeaker Thanks for making me blog on a Sunday recovery day, Tom! Not that I don't love the craft, but turning into Brett Favre is not the energy you want or need. More to come, but way to cuck KG. SMH. Letters.
Tuesday night's match was a warm-up after nearly a month away from competition.
ICYMI:
Sure, I technically lost, but 11 points by yourself is more respectable than when Alan gave up his spot to Petey Jones in the 1971 Virginia AAA Football State Championship game.
I may be 0-3-1 in my last four matches, but even Jeff D. Lowe himself says that points matter, and I'm averaging a Jayson Tatum-esc 12 points per match over those four winless matches.
It's March, and as much as we all love upsets, there's nothing like a high seed brawl between two heavyweight programs, and that's what we've got tonight in Crown Holders (1) Chicago vs. (3) Minihane in Match 181.
Team Chicago holds the crown; there's no denying that. Sure, they only scored 9 points against the Experts on January 20th to retain said crown, but they are the crown holders...for now.
Are they a 2016-17 Celtics kind of one seed? Many (me) are saying yes! But it's March, and we're primed for some upsets. Since I'm 3-7-1 in 2022 (averaging 10.27repeating PPM) and two of my non-losses have come in tournament championships, AND it's #DozVsTheDozen 43 on the same week as the second anniversary of me eating #43Burgers, I'm seeing some serious numerology. Tonight just might be my night. I haven't won a match since #DVTD 35 on January 13th. I'm done outsourcing lines to The Dozen Insider. I'm saying Minihane -1, O/U 21.5. I love the Chicago boys (Carl), but I don't respect their trivia acumen. WSD is a dummy. I think they're primed for the upset tonight even though Kirk is sort of a one-man team. All I know is, if there was ever a match for me to show up and get back in the win column, it's tonight. This would be a statement win even though I sorta shit on Chicago like Dave Matthews Band. Will that happen? There's only one place to tune in, and that's my Instagram (@dozonlife) at 7:05 pm EST. That's www.instagram.com/dozonlife. Can't wait to see ya in the comments!
P.S.
The music questions were a fucking joke last match. Flo Rida and Jason Derulo??? Unreal. Song: Wild Child (2022) Artist: The Black Keys Album: Dropout Boogie This is why I want out of education. #HireDozo
Despite running this publication for over six years, I'm not a super tech-savvy guy. I've sorta taught myself a few photoshop tricks the last yearish, but for the most part, I've just gotten bi with on a 2009 understanding of computers and such. I own an iPhone 11 and Macbook Air, but that's mainly just to keep up appearances and be like everybody else.
I know that iOS is Apple's operating system, and they are constantly changing shit. Most of the time, it's minor tweaks that I don't really notice or update because I don't have the space, but there have been some game-changers during my iPhone career (July 5th, 2011-present). Emojis came into the mix sometime in 2012, I just learned how to add widgets to my home screen legitimately last week, but a few months ago, Apple had arguably its most controversial change since they updated charger ports. Apple switched the search bar on safari from the top of the screen to the bottom, and people are FURIOUS!
For over a decade, I, too, was a top. I grew accustomed to the safari search bar appearing on the top of the screen and the power it gave me. When Apple unveiled iOS 15 and switched to a bottom bar, like most people, I hated the change.
I never thought I'd be a bottom boi; I even switched back to the top, which is very easy to do if you're curious. As a matter of fact, you can change it as many times as you like. Nothing is stopping you or your partner.
I had topped for years because it's all I had known, but I'll tell ya, even after switching back, I kiiinda missed being a bottom. I guess all it takes is a little taste to totally change who you are. But the more I think about it; the change makes perfect sense. It's so much easier to navigate. You can just lay your thumb there and ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ type whatever you want to search. You don't have to stretch your thenar webspace to uncomfortable lengths like you do when topping.
I know many people are upset about the change, and again, I get it. Change can be scary; I hate change too, but sometimes it truly is for the better. I don't care if you agree with me; I just want you to accept me. We can all coexist peacefully as tops, bottoms, and people who can't make a decision one way or another. #BottomPride
P.S.
You've earned it.
Yesterday was a bittersweet day for Tony Hawk fans.
Bitter, because the Birdman announced he broke his femur and skated around the possibility of this being the injury that forces him to hang up his board for good. Although he said, he's up for the challenge ahead!
But sweet, because a trailer dropped for a new HBO documentary, Tony Hawk: Until the Wheels Fall Off, which debuts on April 5th (R.I.P. Kurt Cobain and fun fact...Tony appeared in Weird Al's video for "Smells Like Nirvana").
Seeing the possibility of a world where Tony Hawk can no longer skate FUCKED ME UP. Society has already been through enough, we don't need this. I know he's getting older and can't be doing 900s and McTwists on giant half pipes anymore, but you'd imagine he'd always be able to fuck around on a board, still riding, doing kickflips and shit until the day he dies. Like Michael Jordan isn't in the NBA anymore either, but you know he can still bust that ass in a game of 21 or horse. I know getting older and eventually no longer existing is a part of life, but as billions of people felt before me, the prospect is terrifying.
I turned 30 about three months ago, and it has me thinking about life and my own mortality more than usual. Even though I'm literally the fattest I've ever been (something I'm addressing with not one but TWO doctor's appointments next week....hopefully my heart holds up! lol), I don't "feel" 30. In my head, I'm still some fluorescent adolescent trying to figure life out. Sure I've matured and learned how to adapt (sorta) as an adult, but I'm a 30ino; 30 in name only. Seeing stars of my youth (and I guess my parents too) really start to age, as internet basic bitches say, "hits different." Hopefully, Tony makes a full recovery and can keep doing what he loves, but there will be a day when skating is no longer a possibility for the Birdman. Even though he's 23 years my senior, I hope that's a day I never see. As for the documentary, I cannot wait; it looks incredible. In my 30 years, I've done a decent amount of Tony Hawk research and know about the struggles he faced trying to make it in a sport that was in its infancy, then felt like a fad, but Tony Hawk IS skateboarding, and even though I fucking stink at skating, it's always been something I've had an interest in. Some of my earliest video game memories involved THPS and were a common interest that helped me make friends as I went to a different middle school every year. Skate and alt-rock culture appealed to me at a pretty young age and to this day are things I enjoy. I wish you well in your recovery, Mr. Hawk. Never stop skating.
P.S.
Here's a little piece of my love of skateboarding that predates 9/11! |
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