If you wanna talk about textbook unexpected great news; this is it! (Huey Lewis)
Hot Ones; the game with hot questions and even hotter wings is finally available for run of the mill plebs like you and I to play as a game show on TruTV. Teams of two will compete in a trivia based/wing eating game for a shot at 25 large ($25,000 USD).
I've been watching this hit Youtube series since all the way back in June of 2019. In the time since, I've watched at least 43% of the episodes. It has me dying (and hungry) every time. Sean Evans is a great host and watching celebrities freak out eating spicy food is right up there with babies-trying-to-walk-falling down-in-cute-ways and Jackass videos for "I can watch this over and over again and still laugh every time" type of dumb-ass humor that I need every 90 minutes to survive.
Before, only the brightest of stars were able to step into the both mentally and physically grueling youtube series Hot Ones (presented by First We Feast). I would include a bunch of embedded Youtube videos showing the wide array of stars to appear on the show, but I think all the attachments are slowing down DOL. (h/t 3) Which reeeaaaally sucks because the DOL IG is actually starting to gain some steam; the last thing I need is my blog crashing when hot shots wanna read, jah feel? So instead of a bunch of clips from the likes of Idris Elba to ScarJo to Mac DeMarco to Gronk to Neil deGrasse Tyson to Billie Eilish to Chance the Rapper to Skip & Shannon to Paul fuckin Rudd and beyond...we're just gonna imagine okay? If you haven't been on Hot Ones, are you even famous?
Now the interview has been swapped out for trivia. Holy fucking shit am I all in. I don't even know if I have TRUtv, but I'll find a way (Drake Bell) to watch.
I hope this show gets picked up for a second season because I am 258% going to try out. I LOVE game shows and chicken wings. I get the hot salsa (because there's no chunks) at Chipotle, nbd. I am a trivia GOD and have been getting hurt my entire life. I was made for this show. I can endure some heat for like $8,000 bucks after taxes and splitting with my partner to put towards my student loans and a laptop that doesn't have cancer. What the fuck even is a Scoville? This could be the very break I need to make it. Maybe the Rosie O'Donnell videos are past their prime? Using a internet show turned game show as my vehicle would be more poetic than any number of poets I could name if I really wanted to.
Christian School Expels Student For Wearing Rainbow Sweatshirt At Her Birthday Dinner After Mom Posts Pics on Facebook
When I think of progressive cities in the United States....... Louisville, Kentucky is not exactly in the same breath as a Portland, Austin, or even Tampa. But I did not know the 'Ville was closer to Damascus then Denver. It's sad to see stories like this in 2020!
A 15-year-old freshmen girl named Kayla was expelled from Whitefield Academy; a Private Christian School in Louisville (home of Papa John) for wearing a white sweatshirt with a rainbow pattern and having a rainbow cake at her birthday dinner.
FTR: This dinner was not at her school and that's not even a full rainbow!
Her mom posted the picture on Facebook because that is what every mom on Facebook does. They give away personal data like the hotcakes they should be cooking! YEAH AMIRITE?! (Joke) My mom will fucking check-in on the book when she's getting gas. (Better joke) When this student wore a rainbow, she "demonstrated a cultural acceptance contrary to that of Whitefield Academy's beliefs" Well excuse me. That sentence in itself is really fucking wild. It's a real thing that someone who is responsible for shaping the future wrote. (Unlike the stuff I write) Just re-read that like 4 times. It'll take maaybe 20 seconds. There is a God damn crusade on poor ole Roy G. Biv. That email is basically hate speech.
Somehow the school saw the photo and expelled this kid because, after all, that's what loving your neighbor is all about. To their credit, the school did show Christ-like compassion by touching (changing) the ruling to a voluntary withdrawal.
The article/video never flat out mentions her sexuality, which they shouldn't, as this is a fucking 15 year old girl, Jared. ...But I mean the pieces of this puzzle are pretty clearly laid out for us. Two years of "lifestyle violations", they sent her conversion therapy information... Ultimately, when Kayla culturally appropriated our Lord and Savoir, JC, it was the final nail in her cross.
I go back and forth, but gun to my head, I believe in God. (It's called insurance) Despite the nutbag Christians that give us God guys and gals a worse name than the protagonist of a hit Bon Jovi song did to love.
I guess if you had to put a label on my faith, I'm a "Christian," because I believe in THE (say that like an Ohio State fan) Jesus Christ and all his jazz. I do have a hard time believing all of humanity "just happened" thanks to some fucking rocks, but I also have a hard time believing God "just was/is". To me, all organized Religion can kick rocks, ayeeee. I cannot stand the church. All of 'em. I hate "organized" religion. Well, Buddhists are cool. Allow me to put on my historian hat.
Religion is responsible for pretty much every major issue in peoplekind since it popped up.
But then... like, we also reeaaallly need religion, (plus God could totally be real), as the fear of God keeps soooo many people in check. Could you imagine what Earth would be like if we knew for certain nothing happens when you die? It's already on fucking fire now.
Luckily, since cancel twitter has allowed bashing of the whites and Christianity with zero repercussions, I'm safe. Everybody knows Muslims LOVE the gays and totally don't throw rocks at them.
As someone who has been heavily exposed to Christianity and the born agains, I have never understood why Christians harp sooooo much on the anti-alphabet people vibe that the Bible has. It makes zero sense to me. I'm heavy generalizing here, but there's like, a lot of people that will not budge on that stance. Even if they have gay children. They take these two verses as literal as you can.
Taken from the book of Leviticus; which sounds a lot like the name of a gay bar.
thank you wiki.
Somewhere in between those two versus at 19:27 Leviticus also says:
“Never shave the hair on your foreheads, and never cut the edges of your beard."
Then why is it that many Christian Schools have strict hair guidelines for male students? (or on a much darker note; the irony of killing gay people) I went to Christian School for half of 6th grade and those mother fuckers would bring out a ruler to measure hair that "needed" to be cut. LMTY: You have not seen pointless rules until you've seen a Christian School. Also, apparently anybody in the military that went through basic training is going to hell by the looks of that one. Bummer. If you're a "God hate Fags" person you better look like fuckin' 04 Johnny Damon all I'm sayin'. BC if you don't, but you take those Leviticus verses literally, then Lucy you've got some splainnnin ta do. Do you just not give a fuck? Or are you using religion as a mask for hate? 'Cause if you're gonna be in here; you gotta be all in everywhere. As Big Daddy Kane famously said, "Ain't no half-stepping."
Why is it that? Why is this verse not enforced at all, but the gays (to their disliking) get the short end of the stick?
I try to make light of this hypocrisy, but seriously it's fucking in the assinine. I'm not the first person to site these Bible verses and I sure as H-e-double-hockey-sticks won't be the last, but they should be all the evidence you need. Unless you want to just straight up say you're homophobic; using "it's my religion" as an excuse for being a bigot isn't good enough imo; ESPECIALLY if you like lobster bc this Leviticus cat also said this:
"But all creatures in the seas or streams that do not have fins and scales--whether among all the swarming things or among all the other living creatures in the water--you are to detest. And since you are to detest them, you must not eat their meat and you must detest their carcasses".
I don't fuck with seafood, so I at least have that going for me.
Luckily, many Christians/organizations have loosened their interpretation of God's word in recent years. You can drive by churches with rainbow flags and gay pastors. Imagine seeing that in 2002? It'd be like seeing a hover craft.
This may be the most ass-backward sentence I've ever read in my entire life and mind you I proofread this blog (sometimes). I cannot get over this. It's the perfect combination of idiotic school decisions and religion.
As someone who has to work in education until the fine people at Barstool realize what's been under their nose the last four years, I haaate the public education system.
It is broken.
I don't need to go any further than that.
The only thing that may be more broken than public education is private education. Although the public sector is full of no-common-sense-having-buffoons, I'm not going to act like I know all the ins and outs. I have read, watched, witnessed plenty of questionable moves like this in education; you can trust Dozo here. Basically being private means they can get away whatever they want and blame it on God. You can seriously say things like, "demonstrates a cultural acceptance contrary to that of Whitefield Academy's beliefs." I don't know where you draw the line on outright hate? Can a private school be whites only too?
I know it sucks for this girl and her family. This is making national news (as it should; FUCK that school.) What a way to come out. But, this will be for the better. I'm not a full-blown gay dude, but as they say, sexuality is a spectrum. I am a #goodguy and supportive person. I have countless (at least 4 confirmed) gay friends. I hate people for things they can control like being an Imagine Dragons fan. While I do believe conditioning can play a role, there are plenty of lesbians who just hate men ;). Gun to my head, being gay is not a choice. Because there's no way on earth anybody would actually chose to be attracted to this...
Instead of this.
Why would anybody chose to be ostracized like the way LGBTQ plus 8 people have been? I fundamentally believe its not a choice. I'm sure countless of good people (both secular and nonsecular) have reached out to give Kayla support. You have my support. You don't need that school. Fuck these people and anybody with that point of view. They're the ones that are wrong, not you. Also, did you guys finish the cake?
After getting drafted 9th overall by the Carolina Panthers in 2012 Luke Keuchly quickly cemented himself as one of the best linebackers in the NFL. His wikipedia page is a joke.
What's an even bigger joke is that in 2012 I though he was going to be a bust. I don't even remember why I just know I'm incredibly wrong and glad I was. His accolades are outrageous. Eight years in the NFL; seven All-Pro selections. He easily could've been all eight years as he led the NFL in tackles and was ROY in 2012.
Although Kuechly was DPOY in his second year; I am drawn to 2015. I think of the three pick-6s; two of which came in the playoffs. The 2015 Panthers are probably the best team to not win the Super Bowl in the 2010s. They just ran into an all-time defense and corpse of a HOF QB. Kuechly was the face of the defense with Josh Norman that year. He is not why they lost. His name isn't Mike Tolbert. (which kills me to say because I loved him; he was built to play in the dozo-system)
This retirement doesn't come as too much of a surprise to me given the information on head injuries and Kuechley's history with them. The culture has changed in the NFL as it feels like every off season since Megatron retired at least one future Hall of Famer has called it quits sooner than fans would've hoped. Luke's a Boston College grad who's my fucking age which means he has entire life in front of him.
âThere's parallels to Gronk, although even I'll admit that statistically Gronk was not in the same ballpark as Kuechley in his swan song.
â I think 87 will take it.
Unfortunately, football is a violent game. While strides have been made to make football safer; it's game where if you fuck around with its DNA too much you get something entirely different. There is only so much you can do. Football can also fuck with your DNA. As linebacker there are more risks than most positions with the number of hits they're involved in per game. Things have definitely changed for the 1980's neck-roll MLB, but 59 was making 130+ tackles a year. The dude was everywhere.
âSadly, Luke battled concussions his entire career. I just ctrl-f'd "concu" on his wiki and there were 11 entries (including sources). When you watch the video it's clear as day he doesn't want to retire, but feels like he has to. He's a smart guy. He's made his money. Gotta take care of his mentals.
Luke Kuechly was everything you could ask for in a middle linebacker. In only eight years he did more than you do to make Canton in the eyes of ole dozie. He will have a Gold Jacket someday. I too am sad to see him go, but when you know it's time; it's time. The only bad thing I'll say about Luke is that 59 is a hideous number, but when Thomas Davis has 58 what can you do?
Congrats on a great career, Luke. You can say Cam's a cow for not diving on the ball now, it's okay.
Luke has already gotten a ton of love from guys around the league past and present. Gronk's tweet is actually funny!
If you like what've read here or at any point on DOL please follow @dozonlife on instagram for daily content and tiktok for content eventually (Tame Impala)
Once the Astros opted to fire manager AJ Hinch amidst his one year suspension and the fallout from their sign stealing scandal; the writing was on the wall for Alex Cora. Twas only a matter of time for the AC to go out, I tell ya! Ironically, Cora just so happened to work under AJ Hinch as the Bench Coach for the 2017 Astros.
Talk about an all-time old takes exposed for AJ Hinch, huh? Whomsttt despite this subpar joke yesterday, I don't actually want managing the Boston Red Sox. Dude seems like an arrogant prick.
So if you're like me 20 minutes ago, you're probably wonder what exactly did AC do?
"According to CNN, Major League Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred said an investigation showed that Cora helped develop and execute sign-stealing schemes while working for the Houston Astros. Cora was found to be involved in efforts to try and figure out the opposing teamsâ next pitches using technology like cameras and video replay rooms, which is prohibited by the MLB, Manfred said earlier this week. Cora is also accused of employing sign-stealing schemes while he was with the Red Sox in 2018, according to The Athletic. The MLB said they would investigate the allegations in the report."
that quote is from this
Even though I was highly (and maybe overly) critical of his managerial style in 2019, I'm not George Steinbrenner, I didn't think it was a fireable offense. Guy just won a ring. Give him another shot to break the tie after a stinker. One awesome year, one major disappointment. As long as he didn't finish in 4th or 5th in 2020 I think he'd be okay going forward.
But after all this it's best to just wash our hands and be done with Alex like two day old leftovers (my own Rothstein-ism as that's something I've never personally experienced).
I'm 100% cool with this move, although part of me loves the idea of saving "fuck it" and showing some loyalty to a man with a piece of two Red Sox World Series. But it definitely sucks. I think Cora is a good manager. I liked the guy. Appeared to be a genuinely good dude. BbbbBBbbbuuuut, if you're ever gonna peak to early; Alex Cora likely did. The Red Sox came out swinging dick bats to the tune of 119 total wins (and a wicked cool locker-room gimmick) and a World Series title.
The ring still shines, does it not?
In 2018 Alex Cora was exactly what the Red Sox needed after back-to-back ALDS appearances where they were doormats for the eventual American League Champs. Under first year manager Alex Cora the 2018 Red Sox won 108 games in the regular season and the World Series. Life TRULY comes at you fast as the 2019 dropped 24 games off their '18 pace and not even 16 months after winning the World Series, Alex Cora is OUT of Boston. Such a PRed Sox move to let him save face with "mutual" decision. Yeah and Richard Nixon wanted to resign. To the Red Sox credit, moving on from Cora is 100% the right move in my eyes. I'm sure he's about to get some sort of suspension. There's rumors of a lifetime ban.
The 2018 season was basically perfect for the Red Sox. 108 wins, no losing streak > 3 games, league MVP. The in season moves worked perfectly. Then in 2019 Cora took a coma on his laurels in Spring Training and the Red Sox started the season 3-8 against teams (although it was a West Coast road trip).
As far as I am concerned they are one the best teams in baseball history. Absolutely dominated from start to finish. Obviously the affiliation with the Astros means questions of its validity will come up. From what I've heard the Red Sox did not come close to what the Astros were pulling this is more so AC is in deep shit for his involvement from 17 Stros.
I have such mixed emotions about this because baseball has a storied history of shady behavior. Cheating and baseball go together better than beer and hot dogs. I almost don't have a problem with what the Astros did; it was just a little too extreme and elaborate. I think once technology is in the mix things are crossing a line. But at the same time let's not act like everybody in baseball isn't stealing signs. They just took it to next level. It would only be similar to Spygate if the Patriots actually did something other teams weren't doing.
That being said you can't help but think it played a huge part in their 2017 World Series win? The Astros won their first 6 home games of the playoffs then went 2-1 at home in the World Series in 2017. I remember that ALDS because it aligned perfectly with my friend's wedding the weekend after I stopped teaching in Nashville. The Red Sox were dead before the series even started. I got off a plane during game one in the 3rd inning and it was already like 32-0. It's amazing they went back back to Fenway and almost tied it. If only that Baby Beluga inside the parker didn't lead off the inning.
Then in 2018 the Stros lost 3 straight home games against the Red Sox in the ALCS and of course were the first team to ever go 0-4 at home in the World Series just a few months ago.
As far as I am concerned the 2018 Red Sox are one the best teams in baseball history. Absolutely dominated from start to finish. Obviously the affiliation with the Astros means the questions of its validity. IMO this seems more like an Alex Cora problem than 2018 Red Sox problem. If Tek isn't the new skipper, we riot.
Hopefully the Red Sox can repeat this kind of history instead under Tek's âtutelage.
The Red Sox have been so sporadically successful under this ownership group. Obviously it's been a great ride with many highs. Beats being a Padres fan, but as people they are horrible (and tend to make high-stakes mistakes that cost the fans in $11 bud lights).
A.J. Hinch and Alex Cora join a surprisingly long list of managers to be out of a job (for one reasons of another) within three seasons of winning a World Series since 1960. The anti-Mike Scioscia's of the world.
Jack McKeon* (2003 Marlins)
Jim Leyland (1997 Marlins)
Lou Pinella (1990 Reds)
Dick Howser** (1985 Royals)
Dallas Green (1980 Phillies)
Bob Lemon (1978 Yankees)
Billy Martin (1977 Yankees)
Sparky Anderson (1976 Reds)
Alvin Dark (1974 A's)
Dick Williams (1972-73 A's)
Danny Murtaugh*** (1971 Pirates)
Gil Hodges*** (1969 Mets)
Mayo Smith (1968 Tigers)
Hank Bauer (1966 Orioles)
Johnny Keane (1964 Cardinals)
Ralph Houk***** (1961-62 Yankees)
*McKeon will briefly manage the Marlins again in 2011
**Dick Hoswer passed away from Brain cancer in 1987
*** Danny Murtaugh battled health issues that lead to four separate stints as Pirates Manager; right until his death in 1976 two months after his retirement.
****Gil Hodges passed away in 1972 from a heart attack
******Ralph Houk would manage the Yankees again in the late 60's after a two year absence.
Super Bowl Winning Head Coaches Turned TV Personalities Bill Cowher and Jimmy Johnson Find Out They're HOFers At Work
Divisional Weekend has not disappointed. Derrick Henry continues to be the playoff MVP; securing himself a HUGE bag this off-season (or at the v least a franchise tag).
AND HE CAN PASS!!!!!!!
Then the Houston Texans made their Oiler brethren proud by relinquishing a 24-0 lead in 9:11 in game time.
The Chiefs had an all-time comeback today. Down 24-0 in the 2nd quarter; retook the lead by half and won by 20. First time in playoff history a team has been down 20+ and won by 20 or more. All time win probability chart game. â
Bill O'Brien should've been fired at half time.
The greatest thing that comeback gave us.
As I type this Beast Mode just scored a touchdown cut the Packers lead to 11. The Packers have been a very streaky team this year; scoring their points in bunches....Seahawks have been the kings of the comeback this season; five comeback wins. Should be a great second half....Touchdown Packers...
If you've been paying attention of banging the narrative drum for four years like the late Neal Peart (R.I.P.)
As a very emotional, passionate, wear my heart on my sleeve guy and lover of the great game of football and history these may be the two best moments of the weekend.
First last night; former Steelers Head Coach Bill Cowher got the word he's getting enshrined at Canton.
Then tonight during halftime of the Packers Seahawks game HOF President, C. David Baker told former Cowboys (and Dolphins) Head Coach he too is a member of the 2020 class.
I understand a lot of sport fans are irrational. I am including myself in that grouping. I've claimed to hate people I've never met and never will meet because of the color of their outfit and where they live (sometimes against their choice). As I've gotten older I've grown to respect and appreciate the people that make this game great. Peyton's Places is legit my favorite show right now. 12 year old Dozo HATED Bill Cowher and all things Steelers. 28 year old Dozo respects the Chin. He's a family man and a good guy from what I've read and watched over the years. He's a HOFer.
Jimmy Johnson only coached for 10 years but if you take out his 1-15 1989 campaign when the Cowboys were rebuilding (and lead to the draft capital that built their dynasty) from 1990-1999 he went 79-49 in the regular season; 9-4 in the playoffs, winning back-to-back Super Bowls in 1992 and 93. JJ is kind of in that Terrell Davis territory where the longevity isn't there, but he accomplished all you could ever want to accomplish and made a historic impact in the NFL. That's what makes you a HOFer IMO.
Football is the ultimate team game and both of these men were quick to thank all the people around them that made this possible. So fucking cool they did this live on TV. Their reactions were so genuine. It was beautiful. I teared up. When they cut to Aikman in the booth how could you not?? There is so much emotion in the ultimate team game that people who never played it will truly never understand. This is coming from a key loss on a 1-7 team so I know a thing or two about the ole pigskin. This was such an incredible thing by the NFL. I have to tip my cap to them for getting this right. All the #NFL100 stuff has been top notch as well.
Congratulations to coach Cowher and coach Johnson. The rest of the 2020 Class comes out Wednesday. Credit to the NFL for doing it this way. They could've in the past with other guys, but I can't remember it off the top of my head lol. Seahawks just scored again (and are on the brink of making it a one score game as I finish up the blog...)
P.S. I LOVEEEEEEE Bill Cowher.
Seahawks ball down 5....can't write it much better than this.
I'm going peel back the DOL onion a little bit and tell you a secret.
Yesterday, I was writing my preview/pick blog for Divisional Weekend as I always do every year; at the last minute; which I also always do.
(Now that I think I figured out semi-colons they're gonna be LITTERED across DOL like cigarette butts)
My friend/slash roommate mentioned lunch at Texas Road House with another friend of ours and before you know I'm drinking $1.99 pints of Bud Light and sawmill gravy; ruining all the progress I've made since July. Luckily it's truly back on the wagon tomorrow. Basically, even though I knew going to lunch meant the odds of my finishing the blog were going to drop exponentially; I couldn't say no. #addict. hashtag goodguythathasahardtimesayingnotofriends.
I'm going to do something I've never done before; post a draft. What you are about to see is exactly how my divisional round blog looked before I made the decision to abort in favor of reasonably-priced-chain-food. Side note: My mom would be soooooo mad at me. I ordered my mac & cheese with pulled pork as one of my two sides and one of my boys ordered his mashed potatoes (Herbie) fully-loaded for one of his; both came stock. No pulled pork or bacon bit bells and whistles. Neither of us complained (to the waitress) and yes we were both still charged the full 99 cents each. This added $1.98 to the bill and that's not even considering additional taxes and tipping from the mistake (because of course we still tipped great; hashtag good guy). The awkwardness of bringing it up was worth far more than $1.98 + fees that would've been saved. I wanted to say something on principle, but did not want to see if my roommate was bluffing about what he said he would if I brought it up.
All the mistakes and all the information I already gathered. A real look behind the genius. Then I'll give you the Sunday picks. I will say a code word when the new blog begins. After this song that I'm sure you won't play the draft begins.
The divisional round is where I shine. I even had the score predicted perfectly forPackers-Cowboys in 2016-17 (when I went 3-1). I went 2-2 in 2017-18 and 3-1 in 2018-19. For the first time in the history of DOL; not only will the Patriots not be appearing in the Super Bowl but it's their first playoff appearance since 2009 that ended before the defacto "best weekend" of football. It's not ideal, but does make the weekend a little less stressful. Of the 8 teams left the only one I would really hate to see win it all is the Texans and I'd say they're the weakest of the remaining so probably safe there.
Vikings @ 49ers (-7)
The Vikings shocked the football world when they beat the Saints in the playoffs for the 2nd time in three years. The 13-3 Saints became the first 13 win team in league history to lose in the wild card round. I saw a ton of graphics for that since the game. It's really not that shocking of a stat when only three `13-3 teams have played in that game.
The 49ers went 13-3 just like the Saints, but since they beat them in one of the best games of the regular season they're the one seed with home field throughout the NFC playoffs.
This game is tough for me because the QB play has been basically a wash this season. Jimmy G may be sexier (in more ways than one) so people would assume he's the better QB and had the better year, but 2019 has been Kirk's best and most efficient year.
On Friday's Pardon My Take Warren Sharp mentioned how much the Vikings struggle against 22 p
Texans @ Chiefs (-10)
Texans @ Chiefs (-10)
Seahawks @ Packers (-4)
Two of the most prestigious organizations of the 2010s with spot in the NFCCG on the line. Both have "struggled" in the 2nd half the decade. Seattle hasn't been to the conference championship game since the 2014 season; when they famously came back down 16-0 against the Pack. The Packers did make the NFC title game in the 2016 season, but missed the playoffs entirely in '17 and '18.
Both teams have been the kings of "winning ugly" this year. Aaron Rodgers
As you can see I never even got to make a pick as I bounced around. I swear on the blog I was going to pick the Vikings and Titans to win. Had I bet those it would've been a v nice day, but I have taken the weekend off as I try to do the responsible thing and save money. Titans winning was so fucking bittersweet. I made the mistake of putting Texans @ Chiefs twice while trying to quickly add photos and headings. This way if I somehow was able to finish on my phone (the Weebly app sorta stinks and when I use the browser it crashes; A LOT)
Okay here's the Sunday slate.
Texans @ Chiefs (-10)
I have been one of the biggest bashers of the Houston Texans for YEARS. I've featured this tweet:
in multiple blog posts. They were on the OG 2015 Fraud List that has since been lost to the annals of time with my fallen twitter account :( I do not believe in this organization.
I bet Bills ML last week and God damnit did that not sent in motion a horrible domino effect. Had they won I was gonna emotional hedge Titans ML against the Pats. The Bills straight up gave that game away and while some credit has to be given to the Texans for coming back; IMO that was much more of a Bills loss than Texans win. But they won, they're track #3 on TEN; alive.
The Chiefs are a team I have a strange relationship with. I don't have a second team; I'm not that kind of fan! But there are certainly teams I have a soft spot for and the Chiefs are one of them. I am a student of the game and huge AFL history guy. I love Lamar Hunt and what he did for the game. They've always been kind of harmless as I've ripped their playoff futility ad nauseam. I love Andy Reid. I am not a Mahomes guy, but a large part of that is because of my love for Alex Smith (another Fraud List member; I'm REAL even guys I love can be frauds) although that was obviously the smart football move. I also didn't believe in him at the draft so of course part of me is butthurt I was incredibly wrong about him (although he STILL hasn't won a Super Bowl!) As a chief competitor of my beloved New England Patriots the last few seasons I cannot have these warm feelings I do for the mid-western folk. Now that they are dead, I would not mind seeing the Chiefs win it all. The sting of the Patriots basically beating them would go away I guess?
This is sort of the fraud bowl when you talk about playoff futility although as one team will move on they can clearly shake that label this year with a few more wins. I think 10 is a huge number, but if there's a team that can cover that in the playoffs it's the Chiefs. When two frauds are up against each other, take the lessor fraud. Despite the Chiefs being 2-38 in the playoffs at Arrowhead since Lenny Dawson (joke number; it's really 2-9) I just do not see Bill O' Brien winning a road playoff game.
If you want to state facts Bill O'Brien has two career playoff victories. The first was against Connor Cook making his first NFL start and the second was last week the Bills found away to out Bill themselves in the playoffs.
Andy Reid is the best coach in the big four that hasn't won a championship IMO. I do think he will get one someday, especially if he coaches the Chiefs for the next 5+ years. I could see a v similar career trajectory as newly elected HOFer, Bill Cowher. After years of playoff heartbreak and conference championship losses I think Andy Reid gets his Super Bowl and then calls it quits within three years. Last night was awesome with the Titans, but I don't see another 10 point dog winning outright. Yes, I know Bill Cowher retired less than a year after winning it all. John Madden is another great example. HOF Class of 2006.
Seahawks @ Packers (-4)
Gonna do a quick blog for this during the game so the Chiefs pick is on wax before kickoff.
LIVE DURING THE CHIEFS GAME:
I may edit that part if there's mistakes because I just wanted to get it out before kickoff, but I will not change the pick. Chiefs 34 Texans 20.
In a way this is another fraud bowl; both teams are not nearly as good as their record states. I don't love point differential, but both have PDs of teams that finish around .500.
The Seahawks won in the wild card round game by larger margin (8) than their regular season PD (+7). What I said in the earlier blog draft is relevant. Wow Kenny Stills walk in TD busted coverage as I type this. Not great for the pick! But there's no money on the line so whatever. I wanna see the Titans win the AFC either way.
I love both these QBs and really hope both play well. I wanna see another classic Rodgers Sunday afternoon divisional game like the Cowboys one a few years ago. I hope the winner of this game represents the NFC in the Super Bowl because I have zero interest in the 49ers winning it all this year. Not this year. It sucks because I like a lot of them, but just cannot happen this year. I hope it's the Seahawks, but I think it's going to be a tough battle. Not gonna lie this Texans hot start is making me nervous.
While Pete Carroll has one of the most notable coaching misfires in sports history; he's a damn good coach.I have a ton of respect for him. Matt LaFleur is a rookie HC, meaning this is his first career playoff game. I am being biased and going with experience. Pete Carroll is like 83 years old and taking his shirt off with DK Metcalf like how can you not fuck with him? LaFleur could end up being the guy going forward, but I just don't see it. Even though I'm a nice eyebrows guy, I don't think the NFL is there yet to have a coach who clearly gets his brows did in the Super Bowl. Maybe in three years?
The Seahawks are 7-1 on the road and the Packers went 7-1 at home. This is the Diane Keaton Something's Gotta Give Low Key Fraud Bowl.
For entertainment purposes I really don't want to see another Aaron Rodgers 0 TD pass win that we're accustomed to in 2019 (it's still the league year).
I've been riding Seattle all year and have no intentions of jumping off the bandwagon yet. They are my madden team! I am a Rodgers fan, but he has been asi-asi at home in the playoffs when they get there. We've seen the layoff effect the Ravens and Chiefs so far; I think it continues.
Top X of the 2010s
If you've made it this far; I thank you from the bottom of my heart. When I started this playlist over a month ago I did not realize how much work it was going to be. A true labor of love. Going through a decade of music is tough. It's hard to remember what you were listening to in July of 2010, March of 2014, or even three weeks ago off the of your head. Originally I had all these rules and caveats about song caps and categories; Eventually it got to a point where I was like "am I even going to be able to get 210 songs?" I quickly realized this would not be an issue as the Top 210 put on a light 100 (just like it's creator has done a time or two) and is well past the 300 mark. I have fully made the flip to become a "how can you rate art?" snob and while I guess I'm not saying one song is better than another (I am) what this is really about is giving true shine to those super-favorite, means a lot to me songs. If this entire list is Hall of Famers; this is the first ballot. The order is basically random. Tried to lump artists together although it's not perfect because I was considering a different grouping at first. I was gonna try to rank them all but that's a. stupid, and b. a waste of time; I joke about blogs going unread but I'd be shocked if 30 people collectively read these music blogs. I DO NOT CAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"Wagon Wheel" Darius Rucker (2013)
This song simply is Summer '13. If I was at a bar; it was on. If I was at a party; it was on. If I was driving; it was. I loveeeeeeeeeeeee this song. If there was a bell curve of my country fandom this song is the peak.
"RU Mine" Arctic Monkeys (2013)
"Do You Wanna Know" leads off 2013's AM with a more Tranquility Base vibe than classic myspace monkey's sound. "RU Mine" was the first single and second track on the album; it kicks down the door with a rapid guitar to drum solo to patented Alex Turner tongue twister combo all in a matter of seconds. He poses the question everybody wants to know when they're in that nebulous "what are we?" stage. RU MINNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???????
"Snap Out of It" Arctic Monkeys (2013)
The Ying to RU Mine's Yang. Makes you want steak.
AM is one of my top 10 albums of the entire decade; could've put any number of songs on this list; these two are IMO the best. I don't have the vocabulary or musical acumen to put this is in a better way than I love the way this song was put together. The drums accompany the lyrics (which may be some of Turner's best). Snap. Out. of. It.
"Mountain Sound" Of Monsters and Men (2013)
I always thought this was much more fun and therefor better than Little Talks.
"Mother We Share" CHVRCHES (2013)
Classic BRU Friday night DB's song. I am fully out of the electro-pop(alt rock) closet.
"Telescope" Cage the Elephant (2013)
Another one of my favorite bands, Cage's 2013 album Melophobia is a masterpiece. I fucked up big time omitting Take it or Leave It...FUCK IT... ADDING IT.
I don't think if Telescope is as well known as Cage's bigger hits but for my money it may be their best song. If you haven't heard their album/live show "Unpeeled" you HAVE TO. NOW!
Don't waste it
"Cigarette Daydreams" Cage the Elephant (2013)
Still a goosebumps song; do not think for one second just because I think Telescope doesn't get the light it deserves that I don't love cigarette (daydreams). Cry song for sure. I've beat it like a drum but seeing them open for the keys was a joke. What a fucking ticket. Cage the Elephant and the Black Keys.
"High" Tove Lo (2014)
Big time sad boi vibes to this song summer 14.
"Fake Nice" The Aces
THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN A TOP 5 BILLBOARD POP HIT!
"In the Night" The Weeknd (2015)
My all time favorite Weeknd song. Straight Michael vocals.
I. Don't. Think. You. Understaaaaanddddddddddddddd.
"Lover of the Light" Mumford and Sons (2012)
I can confidently say this is the best song on Babel (which won Album of the Year).
What up Charles Miner?
"The Wolf" Mumford and Sons (2015)
When Mumford switched up their sound in 2015 I can't lie I was worried. I don't really like Delta, but Wilder Mind (while different) was still a great album. I had the CD!
"Stubborn Love" The Lumineers (2012)
I mean who doesn't want this?
"Them Changes" Thundercat (2015)
One of my best friends showed this song to me in the summer of 2015 and it still the best thing he's ever done for me (joke, but almost not)
"Friendzone" Thundercat (2017)
If "Cause I'm a Man" wasn't already my tinder anthem this would be it.
"White Dude" Lil Dicky (2013)
I am a huge Lil Dicky fan. The dude is a comedian with flow and if you can't see or appreciate that then fuck you. IMO this is LD's magnum opus. I don't need to go on my stop policing comedy because you don't like it soapbox because that's not what this list is about. Excited for LD's new show.
"Runaway" Kanye West (2010)
"Forrest Gump" Frank Ocean (2012)
I mean; it's a love song to Forrest Gump by a black man... A black man that wasn't out at the time I believe...talk about kicking down the door. It's a funny concept to even though I'm sure it's not supposed to be. Forrest Gump is a beautiful song; that I know was intentional.
Channel Orange blew up summer 2012 and this song became a quick favorite. I remember hoping he'd play it at the Grammys, but never actually expected it...Frank fucking played this at the Grammys. Garbage there isn't a better version on Youtube.
"Delilah" Florence + the Machine (2015)
Too fast for freedom.
Delilah is the Florence + the Machine version of a bar fight. This shit live will make you feel like you can scale a building; with or without MDMA. That live chorus mixed with the Goddess of Vocals that is Florence Welch hits DIFFERENT.
"Colder Weather" Zac Brown Band (2010)
I could not listen to this song for years and still cry the next time I listen (I have!)
"Redbone" Childish Gambino (2016)
I still can't believe this is the same dude who pooped in a toilet at Home Depot.
I know was Terry.
Real Talk this is that funky/soul that the world needs more of. That falsetto rivals Dan Auerbach's in Everlasting Light.
"Little Black Submarines" The Black Keys (2011/12)
If you were to divide the 2010's into half the Black Keys are my band of the first half and there isn't a close second. It's like the gap between James Harden and 2nd place for FTA/game. Little Black Submarines closes out their shows and hits you with all the feels even if you aren't entirely sure wtf it means.
"Still Into You" Paramore (2013)
I can't wait to sing this to my pop-punk princess wife in 2038 while we are self-driven across the country.
"Wiser" Old Man Canyon (2014)
There's been a lot of talk of cry songs and this one may take the cake; doesn't help when I got it from a Steve Gleason documentary. If Gleason (the doc) doesn't make your eyes look like geysers you might as well just kill yourself now because you aren't a human.
"Sirens" Pearl Jam (2013)
Speaking of Steve Gleason; Sirens was the featured track of the waterworks segment ESPN put together in the fall of 2013. You wanna talk cry songs? I legit have goosebumps as I type this without even playing the song yet. As previously mentioned; I thought about ranking these songs. If I did this is in the top 10, no questions asked.
"The Wire" HAIM (2013)
First HAIM song I ever heard. Thank you Pandora. The HAIM sisters don't only know how to put together a hell of a pop/rock song, but they can make a good music video too.
"Forever" HAIM (2013)
I live for the vocal harmonies of Danielle, Este and Alana. TBH Este shouldn't rule me out as a boyfriend.
"Don't Save Me" HAIM (2013)
I'd take a charge from Este. Such a fun sing-a-long-able song.
"Feels Like I Only Go Backwards" Tame Impala (2012)
"Suburbs "Arcade Fire" (2010)
"I want a daughter while I'm still young." Winn Butler is the antithesis of a frat boy. Beautiful song.
"Ready to Start" Arcade Fire (2010)
These two songs are synonymous with their 2010 Grammy winner album; The Suburbs. One of Jim Halpert's favorite bands! Total different vibe from The Suburbs. Gets the juices following, while Suburbs can get the tears; depending on the setting.
"Sedona" Houndmouth (2015)
Another song I thought would help get me laid. It did not, but I enjoyed the entire album so much that it's okay. Really wish Katie was still in Houndmouth. You wanna talk about vocal harmonies? Put this in a museum.
"When I'm Gone" Gary Clark Jr (2019)
The guitar man takes being a father very seriously. I will sing this to my kids as a lullaby someday. Pearl Cadillac should be here too tbh.
"Evan Finds the Third Room" Khruagbin (2018)
The way Leezy says "yes" is so fucking sexy. Khruangbin is the coolest band in music rn. Who else has matching haircuts like that?
"Hell of a Season" The Black Keys (2011)
Favorite deep track on El Camino.
"Freaking out the Neighborhood" Mac DeMarco (2012)
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrry for all the Mac you're about to consume.
Freaking Out the Neighborhood was my first expose to Mac. I must've listened to it a hundred times in a two weeks this summer. Haven't used this in a while; infectious guitar riff.
"Ode to Viceroy" Mac DeMarco (2012)
This is what Mac DeMarco jizz jazz is all about whenever I try to explain him to somebody. My favorite non-serious song even though Mac is super serious about his love for Viceroys.
"Brother" Mac DeMarco (2014)
If you follow @dozonlife on instagram this is familiar. Mac isn't just the goofball he may seem like; there's also some fantastic lyrics and emotion behind those gym shorts. The ACL version is my favorite.
"Chamber of Reflection" Mac Demarco (2014)
This is a buried in the couch song for SHO
"The Cave" Mumford and Sons (2010)
Borderline 09 song although it was nominated for a Grammy in 2011 so no qualms including here. Time has passed but Mumford and Sons really were fucking it for like 4 years.
"New Person, Same Old Mistakes" Tame Impala (2015)
An existential tune of discovery that even bad girl Rhi Rhi had to get her hands on. Currents is my favorite album of the decade and songs like this are exactly why.
"The Moment" Tame Impala (2015)
This song makes me so happy. This is summer Tame. I would love to live out that music video someday. Looks like the chillest place on earth.
"Cause I'm a Man" Tame Impala (2015)
This song has been my tinder bio for three years.
It's like I co-wrote this song. At first without listening people may think it's sexist; oh man is it anything but.
"Girls" The 1975 (2013)
This and "Sex" are really what got me into The 1975. It's not a pop song but it's the perfect pop----baaarely rock song. The 1975 hit this song out of the park and the fact that they don't play every concert is a fucking shame. I've listened to this song every time I've gone to the gym since 2013. S/o Allison Williams.
"Somebody Else" The 1975 (2016)
start 3 minutes in.
Hits semi-close to home and is just an incredibly well put together piece of music. It's The 1975's signature song for sure. It was my most played song of the year which is a bad look when you break up but it's not about herrrrrrrrrr. I just fucking love this song.
"No Light, No Light" Florence + the Machine (2011)
If you follow my personal IG these lyrics are familiar; "You can't chose what stays and what fades away" I still can't believe I've seen FATM twice and have heard "No Light, No Light" zero times. Bigger crime than the Lindbergh Kidnapping. Another song that needs to be played every show; Ceremonials is mix between a religious experience and auditory organism. Florence breaks stained glass with these vocals.
"Shake it Out" Florence +the Machine (2011)
Florence herself spoke of the themes of Ceremonials; battles, demons, growth, self discovery. Shake it Out is the poster child of it all. I shook the devil off my back and feel like a brand new person. I don't know where I'd be in my life without the music of Florence + the Machine and the friendships I have around this band.
"Hard Times" Paramore (2017)
It's ironic that I didn't see it then; especially with how much I listened to it, but I should've really listened to those lyrics in August-October of 2017. I was wondering why-I-even-try for a long ass time. It was not all rainbows and keytars for Ole Dozie.
After Laughter is another one of the seminal albums of the decade for me and no song is better champion of that than Hard Times. Over the last two years it really has become a rallying cry for me (and another must play every workout song). Add in my love for Hayley (excited for his solo work coming out soon) and Hard Times is my song of the 2010s; even though I said there would be no rankings. When I think of where I began and where I ended the 2010s there is no better song to encapsulate an entire decade for me. The 2010s were Hard Times but God damnit am I grateful for them.
The year I found myself again. It was not pretty at times, but all in all one of the most important years of my life. Laid the foundation for what I hope is a huge decade for me, personally. Best of luck to you as well. Here's my favorite tunes from 2019.
Again, the years are a loose guideline. Remember if there's a song omitted from the list, don't fret it could very well be in my top 40 for of the 2010s. Since this is our final year installment; The Top 40ish is next!
"Pearl Cadillac" Gary Clark Jr
We just wanna make our mamas proud! I'll pay ya back someday.
"Hurt", "Miracle Man" Oliver Tree
Yes, that's Clay Jensen.
His real name is Dylan and his band band Wallows is ideal for grown adult emos like myself. I'm a chubby mother fucker with a cool hairstyle (beautiful silk flow)
"Night Running (ft. Beck)" Cage the Elephant
"Divorce" Alex Cameron
A catchy, upbeat song about the childhood destroyer of millions! Any song with "mother fuckin futon couch" in the chorus is an auto-bid to the list. Added bonus; Alex Cameron is boys with Mac DeMarco.
"Move Awayer" Hobo Johnson and the Lovemakers
Just starting to go past the tip of the Hobo Johnson iceberg; I'm not normally a spoken word guy, but this dude (and his band) is so emotional and passionate it's hard to not get drawn in.
"Sucker' Jonas Brothers
Real recognize real. Jobros are all the way back.
"Oslo (ft. Callum Connor & T. Nava) Free Nationals"
One of the latest additions to the list; it may be my favorite song of the year. I have been on a huge funk bender lately and this feeds right into it. Shit makes me wanna cut a rug. I need to learn how to dance in 2020. Maybe someone will invent 2-day online rhythm pills?
"Prophet", "Cheap Queen" King Princess
I think I forgot 1950 for "2018" damnit.
At first I was kinda scared away by the album cover, but once I listened I was hooked. King Princess is a fucking weirdo and as a fellow weird I support they.
this goes to everybody; do you, but the arm pit hair thing is disgusting. I might start shaving mine in protest of this horrible fade.
"Shine A Little Light" The Black Keys
The Black Keys are one of my all-time favorite bands and while I wasn't in love with "Let's Rock" I am pumped the Keys are back. The guitar on this song alone earns it's spot here.
"Bad Guy" Billie Eilish
I've been saying Billie Eyelash as if I'm the first person to think of that for months and still laugh every time. I still don't understand why this chick is the biggest star in music, but cannot deny the importance of Bad Guy in 2019 (same with the two upcoming songs). That being said I genuinely like this song (like everything on this list). I skip the final 42 seconds every time.
"Old Town Road", "Panini" Lil Nas X
Love him or hate him you have to tip your cowboy hat to Lil Nas X. The dude played the internet perfectly and blew up like the World Trade. Old Town Road was just good enough for people of every genre to sort of fuck with it; when you mix in the country labeling controversy this song was the biggest of thing of 2019.
I think Panini is a better song. It's not good, but like .... it is.
"Blinding Lights" The Weeknd
"Never Had the Balls" Rex Orange County
I've said perfect like 82 times in this series but this song is perfect.
"Brown Eyed Lover" Allen Stone
This is literally the only Allen Stone song I've ever heard, but I loved it so much from the first listen I had to include. SOUL!
"Golden" Harry Styles
This song should be a top 10 hit. Reminds me of George Harrison ever so slightly even though Harry is clearly Paul.
"Texas Sun" Khruangbin & Leon Bridges
v excited for this entire EP.
"Harmony Hall" Vampire Weekend
I think I'd get shot by the indie mafia if I forgot this.
"Patience", "Borderline" Tame Impala
Both songs came out 11 months before the album and are a prime example of this list being a work in progress; it's always incomplete and growing. I have spent weeks working on this and still forget songs I've listened to enough time to earn a spot on my apple music top plays.
HERE COME THE BIG GUNS
Well-documented bittersweet year for the boi. Hopefully the Sox don't trade Mookie and Brady doesn't retire. Crazy how much things have changed so quickly! Musically this year produced a variety of things I enjoyed; here they are.
Again, the years are a loose guideline. Remember if there's a song omitted from the list, don't fret it could very well be in my top 40 for of the 2010s.
"Shoe Boot" Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats
I've been saying it since the first time I heard this song, but it belongs in the opening credits of a 1970's cop movie. Leading off the DOL 2018 list isn't a horrible consolation.
"Sweet but Psycho" Ava Max
When I'm ubering I usually play FM radio because my car doesn't have a 21st century stereo so I heard this song a billion times and it grew on me.
"Stuck" The Aces
Another borderline year; came out in 2016, the album was released in 2018 and was featuring in my best of 2017 blog from 2017. I LOVE the Aces; it's only a matter of time before they blow up. TBH Stuck and Fake Nice should've.
"What's the Use?", "Hurt Feelings" Mac Miller
It's an absolute fucking shame it took the death of Mac Miller for me to really appreciate this album and the artist that was Mac Miller. Swimming is fantastic; robbed at the Grammys. I know I'm not the guy to give the takes people respect on hip hop/rap but this is one of the five best rap albums of the 2010's. Tragedy Mac is gone and never got to perform this album the way he wanted to and was so excited to leading up to his death.
"Stir Fry!" Migos
I like the Migos but do not understand how their success works. For my money stirfry is 10,000 times the song Walk it Like I Talk it Is. Many great memories associated with this song.
I wrote about XXX' passing when it took place; I stil stand by the majority of what I wrote. This guy definitely had a checked past and was not someone to be thought of as a hero. But he was a fucking kid and it looked like he was trying to get his shit in order. You're entitled to your own opinions but the way this guy died wasn't right. The whole emo/rap/lofi thing is just in its infancy and one of the forefathers is gone.
I feel like I'm VERY off with the 2018 grouping here. TBH Hideaway should be on the list too as I keep realizing songs I forgot but it's already January 7th and this bicccc needs to get posted in full already.
"Mystik", "Cigarettes", "Salvation" Tash Sultana
2018 was the year of Tash for ole Dozie. Salvation is one of my memory alarm tones!
"Nothing Breaks Like a Heart (ft. Miley Cyrus) Mark Ronson
The part of the chorus that would be read as if was in parenthesis is my favorite.
Only You (ft. Tame Impala) Theophilus London
Funk with a side order of Tame Impala? I'll take seconds.
"Saturdays (ft. HAIM)" Twin Shadow
I''ll have the same as the last guy; sub HAIM.
"Love It If We Made It", "It's Not Living (If It's Not With You) The 1975
"We're fucking in a car shooting heroin saying controversial things just for the hell of it" perfectly encapsulates this album. I think it's not living is about heroin too, but I like to pretend it a love song.
"There's a Honey" Pale Waves
The co-ed Cure!
"Maria Tambien" Khruangbin
Being late to Khruangbin is one of my all time biggest fuck ups
"She's Kerosene" The Interrupters
What a perfect band name for band with a song like this; "She's Kerosene" punches you in the face out of nowhere with a ska sound that makes me yearn for the late 90's and in line, line, line, line, line skates.
"Hunger" Florence + the Machine
Flo goes there from the first verse. Right away you know this that passionate, stadium bumping folk/soul that Florence + the Machine have been churning out for over a decade. Personally, I'm more of early Florence guy. but Hunger gives fans a lit bit of early Florence sound with new. I kind of feel like a total crock of shit writing that, but it feels true to me. I'm much more of an upbeat, kick your ass Flo sound. High As Hope was a tad too slow for me; Hunger withstanding.
"New Light" John Mayer
John Mayer is ready to be a star!
Seeing this live at the Dunk was pretty rad. All time music video.
"Paranoid" Post Malone
My personal favorite off of beerbongs and bentleys.
"God's Plan" Drake
I love my broskis.
"Light On" Maggie Rogers
Voice of an Angel leaving the light on for you. Doesn't get much better.
"a lot" 21 Savage
This isn't your older brother's 21 Savage song.
"PASS OUT (ft. 21 Savage), "FLIP THE SWITCH (ft. Drake) Quavo
Really fucked with this album when it came out. My rap tastes make no sense but I fuck with Quavo heavy. Neither of these are real music videos so I wouldn't be shocked if they're pulled when we look back at this blog in a few months.
Normally, Wild Card Weekend is time for me to sit back and relax. Just enjoy the weekend as a football fan. It's the great appetizer for real playoff football. Usually consists of watching the Houston Texans play in, and likely lose a 4:35 Saturday afternoon home game. Then it's time to figure out who the Patriots will end up playing in the Divisional Round. Sometimes the Texans game matters, but it's usually the 3-6 match up that carries the bulk of importance.
This year things are a tad bit different as the 12-4 AFC East Champion New England Patriots finished the year 4-4 after starting it 8-0; ultimately costing them the bye. BIG 2015 vibes. For the first time since I was a Senior in high school the Pats don't have a first-round bye.
The 2019-20 season/playoffs (even after watching football for almost 20 years I still don't know how to format league seasons) feature SIX (6) 12+ win teams; 14-2 Ravens, 12-4 Chiefs, and 12-4 Patriots in the AFC. 13-3 49ers, 13-3 Packers and 13-3 Saints in the NFC. Shades of 2011. Hopefully this year doesn't end up with a 9 win Super Bowl champ like '11.
For the first time in what feels like a decade; the playoffs are wide open. Of the 12 teams in the playoffs I could legitimately see 9 of them winning it all. Sorry Texans, Titans and Vikings. It feels like even the best teams have a big question mark going into the playoffs.
The narrative everybody is talking about this year is the importance of the bye; since 2013 every team that played in the Super Bowl has been a top two seed. Quick off the top of my head flex.
2013: Seahawks (1) Broncos (1)
2014: Patriots (1) Seahawks (1)
2015: Broncos (1) Panthers (1)
2016: Patriots (1) Falcons (2)
2017: Eagles (1) Patriots (1)
2018: Patriots (2) Rams (2)
Before last season home teams were 10-0 in their last 10 conference championship games. Who noticed that trend and bet on the Patriots and Rams to win on the road in their respective Conference Championships? That's right Ole Dozo. Lots of people were saying was how the Patriots hadn't won a road playoff game since 2006. While it was true, it was incredibly misleading as they only played 2 road playoff games during the span. Same with the Saints. Everybody was saying how hard it is to beat the Saints in the Dome, but they low key haven't played a lot of home playoff games. I tweeted it out this week. I think the Saints made a deal with the Devil to win the Super Bowl in 2009. Would explain a lot.
Now I know the Saints got screwed by the no call, but they also didn't play well enough to put the game away early when they had a chance. Drew Brees threw an INT on the opening possession of OT. Everybody cried how the Chiefs didn't get a chance to possess the ball. Rams did what they had to.
With a loaded field we could certainly see the "bye is a ticket to the SB" trend continue. The Super Bowl ending up some combination of Ravens/Chiefs vs. 49ers/Packer wouldn't be mind-boggling. I personally just don't see it. The 2010's began with a string of teams that played in Wild Card weekend winning it all; 2010 Packers, 2011 Giants and 2012 Ravens and while these playoffs may be taking place in the 2020s it is the final chapter of the NFL's teen years. I think this is the year we see at least one team make the Super Bowl the hard way.
The home team trend and bye trend make sense if you look at it from a distance. It's the "higher seeds" ie. better teams moving on, but in a year when we saw the NFC's top seed literally come down to the inch line on the final play of the season, I'm not as married to the number in parentheses being the biggest factor in winning this January.
Wild Card Weekend looks like this:
Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans, 4:35 p.m. ET (ESPN)
You're going to hear *21 savage voice* A LOT about the last time the Bills played a team from Houston in the playoffs.
No doubt that's an awesome moment in NFL history, but it has (almost) zero to do with this game. A lot of dudes playing today weren't even alive when this happened and it wasn't even the Texans organization. That being said it is a cool story, I don't have an issue bringing it up as one of the many story lines.
As a Patriots fan the Bills have always had a soft spot in my heart; partly by being our whipping boy the last 20 years, but mainly from the whole Super Bowl streak. Four losses in a row. How you could ever hate or root against a team with that history... I'll never understand. Even as a division "rival" it's hard to have animosity towards them.
Now should they become the class of the division in a time when the Patriots are in a post-Brady transition that pandering ass mindset could change, but for now I love this Bills team. Josh Allen is proving all the doubters wrong, he was worthy of a top 10 pick. Frank Gore continues to tell father time to blow him. The small, quick WR overhaul has worked wonders and the Bills defense is quietly one of the best in the NFL. 2nd in points allowed, 3rd in yards. Tre'Davisous White is the 2nd best CB in the NFL right now after Gilly Lock
(although D' Hop doesn't think so...start at 1:45)
You mix that against the Fore Fathers of the Saturday afternoon Wild Card Game Houston Texans... Perhaps the biggest fraud organization of the last decade and I think that spells trouble in H-Town. Laughable that Hop tried to make it seem like a tough place to play in that clip. I don't care that they've won the AFC South six times. Someone has to win that division. Unless they face the Bengals or Connor Cook they've done NOTHING. Bill O'Brien is 1-3 in the playoffs. DeShaun Watson certainly has the talent to change the loser Texans narrative, but I am going to bet against him every opportunity I have until he proves otherwise.
No Will Fuller could be problematic for Watson.
I actually like J.J. Watt and hope he performs well in his comeback from his torn pec. I just don't know how much you can expect from him in a limited role off of such a big injury. I think best chance is a an early game pure adadrenaline situation. Maybe a key sack or turnover?
Either way I LOVEEEEEEEEE the Bills in this game. They're a slight dog. Texans are -2.5 as of this morning. I feel like every time the Bills have played an opponent I don't think they can beat, they did. I'm talking about the Cowboys and Steelers prime time games. Ravens are the Ravens, but the Bills played them tough. I think today is the day the Bills win a playoff game. I know I said the Oilers shit doesn't matter, but that stink hasn't entirely left Houston just yet. This fraud ass team got blown out at home by the Broncos after beating the Patriots in the week 13 Super Bowl.
Tennessee Titans at New England Patriots, 8:15 p.m. ET (CBS)
Despite my bad experience in Nashville, I have nothing against the Titans. I just call it like I see it.
After saying this four year window of 9-7 was the most impressive stretch of mediocrity in NFL history I cannot afford to see the Titans win this game. (although if it helped DOL get buzz I wouldn't be upset) It would be the ultimate 9-7 slap in the face. I have been the king of shitting on 9-7 and then bam guess who the only 9-7 Super Bowl champs ever beat in the Super Bowl? I do not need to see a 9-7 team "end the Dynasty" too.
I honestly think the Titans can win this game. It wouldn't be shocking. This organization kicked the Pats ass in Nashville last year. Mike Vrabel looks like the best coach to come off the Belichick tree even though he technically never coached under him. Derrick Henry is the best "running-back" running back in the NFL. He could end up having a huge night vs a Patriots defense that can be ran through. Tannehill has beaten the Patriots before. The stars are aligning for an upset.
That being said; I am so over this "end of the dynasty" talk the week. FS1 has a mother fucking countdown.
Losing to the Dolphins was inexcusable and very well may cost this team a chance at the Super Bowl. It sure as shit makes the road more difficult, but Jesus Christ this team went 12-4!!! Despite the offensive woes they don't suck! Even if they lose the run isn't over. It's not over until Brady leaves.
The popular talking point this week has been that the Patriots have never made the Super Bowl without a bye. Much like the "no road playoff wins since 2006" stat; it is factual, but incredibly tailored to fit a certain narrative.
The Patriots have made the Super Bowl 9 times during the Belichick-Brady era. While they had the bye every season they made it, they also had the bye in 2010, 2012, 2013 and 2015 when they didn't reach the Super Bowl. They HAD A BYE EVERY YEAR FROM 2010-2018 (THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF GRONK'S CAREER). You can't make the Super Bowl as a Wild Card Weekend team if you don't play on Wild Card Weekend. It's been 10 years since the Pats played in the opening round. The media is literally trying to twist the Patriots success as a negative.
In 2006 the Patriots did not make the Super Bowl. They lost the AFCCG to the Colts; a game they famously blew a 21-3 lead (21-6 at half) in. They didn't have the bye that year but were in a prime spot to make the Super Bowl. Maybe not having the bye cost them in the second half? Maybe that's why offensive linemen were scoring touchdowns seemingly every other drive? I don't know, My point is that stat is fucking stupid.
The deck is stacked against the Patriots to make the Super Bowl for the fourth consecutive year. I thought winning it all last year was Belichick's greatest coaching job, but if this team reaches the big game having to win two road playoff games after all the talks of how bad this team truly is, it would have to become #1. I don't think it's going to happen, but I also don't think it's impossible. If the Patriots win a home playoff game today they move on to Kansas City next week.
Let me make this perfectly clear. I don't care if the Chiefs offense has scored 80 points in 8 straight games. These are the Kansas City Chiefs at home in the playoffs. Don't let ONE win against the 6 seed Indianapolis Colts change 40+ years of futility.
I like Andy Reid. Gun to my head I do think he wins a Super Bowl before he retires. Could see a Bill Cowher type situation with him.
But it's still Andy Reid against Bill Belichick in the playoffs. It's still the Patriots against the Chiefs. They went into Arrowhead less than a year ago and left with an AFC title.
Then should they win that game they're likely going to Baltimore.
That would be VERY tough.
The final score of the Ravens-Pats SNF was 37-20 but the game was not as one sided as the score would show. Edelman fumble completely changed the game.
The 2019 Ravens have been an all-time fun offense. More Pro Bowlers than you can shake a stick at. Yeah those teams always close the deal in the playoffs. Lamar Jackson has proved everybody wrong with his remarkable highlights against the Bengals and Browns. Bill Belichick totally couldn't slow him down a second time around (Shalamar). Patriots gave up 14.1 points a game this season. (Fewest ever by a Belichick Patriots team) no chance in a second match-up.
That's a ways away and a lot of things have to happen beforehand. First off, beating the Titans.
Everything going into this game screams Titans upset. I still am considering taking Titans ML as the emotional hedge, but I am sorry these are the defending Super Bowl champion (remember?) New England Patriots. They are at home. Brady is 20-3 at home in the playoffs. It's gonna be uglyish weather (that actually might help the Titans) Tannehill's first playoff start.
Lots of talking heads are saying the Patriots are done. They just had an all-time stinker at home in a spot you never see the Patriots falter in. They were flat. Brady was literally undefeated at home against AFC teams with a losing record before that game (61-0, I believe...def over 60). It makes no sense, but the Patriots roll tonight. I could be wrong, but I'd rather be wrong backing the greatest dynasty in the history of sports instead of trying to be cool and pick a hot upset.
Minnesota Vikings at New Orleans Saints, 1:05 p.m. (FOX)
"Rematch" of the Minnesota Miracle, even though Case Keenum is the Washington Redskins QB.
No need to overthink this one. Dalvin Cook is fantastic, but banged up. Michael Thomas just had arguably the best season a WR ever has. 149 receptions for 1725 yards and 9 TD. Next closest guy (Julio Jones) was 331 yards in the rear view. Do-it-all back Christian McCaffery had 116 grabs in 2nd place.
The Saints are one of the best teams in the NFL. They also may be the most unlucky. From 1990-2019; 48 teams went 13-3; 45 had first-round byes. The only three that did not; 1999 Tennessee Titans (wild card team), 2011 New Orleans Saints and 2019 New Orleans Saints. Last year the Patriots and Saints both had byes at 11-5.
After the Seahawks, the Saints were most effected by the lack of PI called on the goal line last Sunday. Had the Seahawks won the Saints would've been the 2 seed with a much needed week off.
Now they have to play on Wild Card Weekend with 13 wins against the Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings have one of the most talented rosters in the NFL. They also have Kirk Cousins captaining the ship. He's been decent to good this year, but these are the Saints in the dome....against Kirk Cousins. In only his 2nd career playoff start. You may have forgotten the 2015 Wild Card Round. Nobody would blame you if you did. The question isn't do the Saints win, but do they cover? -8 always scares me in a backdoor situation. I probably won't bet the game (lol) but I think Saints win without much hassle.
Seattle Seahawks at Philadelphia Eagles, 4:40 p.m. (NBC)
This game is the biggest crap shoot of the weekend. Just a few weeks ago the Seahawks beat the Eagles 17-9 in Philly in a game that was about 2 plays away from being 28-0. Both teams are much different from the last time they played...Beast Mode is back. 42 more Eagles went down.
To the Eagles credit they won the NFC East after the Cowboys did everything they could to throw it away. Doug Pederson and Carson Wentz have lead this team of 8th-string skill position players to the playoffs. It's the Eagles 3rd straight trip to the playoffs and each one is more impressive than the last given the circumstances in which they got there.
Carson Wentz will be making his playoff debut against IMO after Tom Brady the best big game QB of the last 15 years in Russell Wilson. The dude just gets it done.
The Eagles are a hospital crew, but they're playing at home. The Seahawks are an 11-5 team that analytics would tell you could've/should've been 7-9 with their +7 point differential. The stats about how much they've trailed this season seem made up.
The Seahawks are also 7-1 on the road this year. I think losing to the 49ers hurt their chances at a Super Bowl, but I think they live to fight another day. Eagles are just too banged up, but with Seattle -1.5 right now the Eagles obviously have a shot. I just think it's much better for the NFL to give us Seahawks-49ers III instead of the Hospital Eagles.