The #TooManyLegs Teaser of the Week has become the Chicago Bears of bets. Both started the season 3-0 and are now in the midst of losing streaks that have surpassed a month of real time. TML was 4-2 and is now 4-7; the Bears were 5-1 and now sit at 5-6.
I feel like nobody has been riding recently and honestly that's a good thing; I'd feel a little guilty that my latest attempt to add a feather to the #HireDozo cap has gone awry. I don't want people going bankrupt because I think I've got what it takes to blog at Barstool. I started 3-0, I can afford to keep chipping away at all those units I accrued in September. I don't want anybody losing their house, but since we're in the heart of the holiday season, I want to give back and give the people a winner. Statistically speaking...I'm due.
Last week we were close with a 6-2 showing, but we need perfection in the teaser game. I hate the board today, but I think I can find eight winning legs to get us off this L-train. While I was tinkering with my picks last week, I was most confident about the Raiders, so naturally they looked worse than Rosie O'Donnell in a G-string (I can say that cause we're friends).
But honestly, I'm glad the Raaaaaaiders took me out of my misery because in a 6-2 leg day, the only other leg that failed to hit was OVER 45.5 in Chargers/Bills. This is how Chargers @ Bills ended with 44 points on the board. It's worth the watch if you didn't see last week.
So thank you Raiders for making that entire sequence irrelevant to me because if the teaser lost on that shit after converting TWO Hail Mary passes to get into field goal range I don't know if I'd be here typing right now. I've got a decent feeling that with how my life outside of DOL is falling apart that ya boi is due for some good news. I'll take that in the form of a +1000 payout during Christmas shopping season. Let's take a look at the picks!
Week 2 and 3
Week 5 (booo Bengals)
Week 7 (Week 7 victory recap)
Raiders -1.5 (from -7.5)
Last week the Raiders laid an egg in Atlanta and are now on the outside looking in at the AFC's top 7. Even with Josh Jacobs out, the 0-11 Jets are just what the doctor ordered. I am expecting a big time get right game for the Raiders and if they can't beat the Jets I am never betting on Derek "Bleeding Mascara" Carr ever again.
Saints +3.5 (from -2.5)
My friends tell me to never tease past zero, but I have Taysom Hill blinders on.The Saints are the best team in the NFC with a sneaky top defense in the NFL.
Yes, I'm a little worried about the turnaround time, as these two teams played just two weeks ago at the Mercedes-Benz SuperDome; the Falcons could adjust to handle Taysom Hill's unique skillset, but at Mercedes-Benz Stadium I think the Saints keep rolling. Love having the field goal loss insurance at +3.5.
Browns/Titans OVER 47 (from 53)
Giants/Seahawks UNDER 53 (from 47)
Rams/Cardinals OVER 42.5 (from 48.5)
Just a gut feeling with this game. Teams just put up points in the Big Toaster. Both teams average over 23 points a game so I feel alright being a basic bitch and taking a teased over here.
Packers -2 (from -8)
The Packers beat up on awful teams and that's exactly what the Eagles are. No need to make you read more than you need to here. Know what I mean? I think you do! Okay, cool. Next pick! Are you ready?
Patriots +7.5 (from +1.5)
Justin Herbert has not been your typical rookie this season, but this is the only stat I need.
Patriots can get back to .500 with a win today, but I think they can (at worst) stay within a touchdown of a team who is allergic to good situational football. While the playoffs may be out of reach for New England, Belichick has a chance to tie Tom Landry's record of 20 straight winning seasons if the Pats can get to 10-6 or even 9-7. As a historian of the game and guy who only cares about winning, that type of record 100% matters to Bill. We might even see Cam throw a touchdown today!
Broncos/Chiefs UNDER 57.5 (from 51.5)
I hate taking any under when the Chiefs are involved, but since Patrick Mahomes became the Chiefs starting QB in 2018 Chiefs-Broncos games have only surpassed 57.5 points once and that one time included a pick-6 and kickoff return TD.
With the Broncos playing with no QB last week and Drew Lock today I think the Chiefs defense can keep them in check. 45-10 Chiefs still goes under.
Good luck and as always, please wager responsibly.