Song: Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home) Artist: Usher Album: Raymond vs. Raymond (2010) I'm obvi pumped for the game itself and prop bets, but I'm wicked excited for the halftime show. I love Usher. He's been making bangers for longer than most of the guys playing tonight have been alive. I've been a fan since 8701 but had to go with one I loved my senior year of HS that might've evolved into a "Dozie's Home" rendition with my old friends that I desperately miss! Hopefully, we get that sick guitar solo from the rain dance part of the "You Got It Bad" video during the show tn.
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I'm starting this blog at 11:28 am on Super Bowl Sunday after spending most of my week designing and tinkering this year's collage, and I still can't decide who I'm gonna pick. Mid-intro P.S. Can I get a job making these professionally? It's high-key and one of my favorite things (it's quite soothing).
As a narrative, history, and conspiracy guy, it's hard not to pick the Chiefs. Patrick Mahomes is probably the best quarterback of the 21st century, not named Tom Brady, and he's far from finished. If the Chiefs win tonight, Patriot fans should start getting worried about Mahomes passing Brady's six rings (As a Patriots fan, I don't claim the Tampa one, even though I did bet on the Bucs in SB LV and hit on Gronk scoring the first TD). The league would definitely prefer to see the Chiefs win. Whether or not anything shady happens to allow that remains to be seen. Mahomes is unreal, and much like Brady's legendary tenure in New England, he's reinvented his game throughout this run. These are not your high-flyin' Tyreek Hill go ball, Chiefs. They grind it out and have some serious 2018 Patriot vibes with a great defense (2nd in the NFL) and running game, although this does not feel like the end for them (maybe some of the older blood like Chris Jones and Kelce...if the Chiefs win this SB, I wouldn't be shocked if he retires to be a full-fledged media darling/Taylor Swift's husband). I've heard something like 75% of the money is on the Chiefs, which worries me. Vegas will take a "big hit" if Kelce scores the first TD, which makes me want to sprinkle, but despite how KC-centered the blog's been so far, I really want to see the Niners win. They've been my go-to online Madden team for the last two years and are jam-packed with studs I'd love to see win a ring. As the cliche police will tell you, football is a team game and IMO, the 49ers are a better and more well-rounded team than the Chiefs, but when you have already a top 5 QB of all-time, it's hard pick against them. They also have the better kicker; Butker's top three in the NFL, and Jake Moody is probably bottom ten. If I were a Niner fan, I'd be missing Robbie Gould big time today. I don't trust Moody in a clutch spot late. He's already missed two sub-50 yarders this postseason. Before I go any further, George Kittle is better than Travis Kelce. Kelce's a great pass catcher and helped me win my 2022 fantasy championship, so I don't hate him like I used to well before he was in 30 commercials a game, but Kittle dominates the blocking game and is the closest thing to Gronk the NFL has in terms of complete tight ends.
I'm not exactly discovering a new planet with this take, but if I'm the 49ers, I'm making someone other than Travis Kelce beat me through the air. Make Rachee Rice catch 8+ balls or fucking Noah Gray make a play. You know MVS will drop some. With Fred Warner and Dre Greenlaw, San Fran has one of, if not the best linebacker duo in the NFL that can MAYBE handle Kelce. It's a legacy night for Fred Warner. Stopping Kelce and making Mahomes rely on KC's other options is IMO SF's best chance defensively. I wanna sprinkle Fred Warner for SB MVP but I can't find it on the RISB.
It's not impossible to slow these Chiefs down, the Ravens shut them out in the second half and frankly should probably be in this game. I don't know wtf Baltimore was doing offensively, but they got scared and went away from their power running game. You can run against this Chiefs defense. Buffalo ran over 180 yards in the Divisional Round. Kyle Shanahan loves to pound the rock and feed CMC. I wouldn't be shocked to see him touch the ball 30 times. Kyle Juszczyk is gonna touch the ball too. I already spinkled him to have at least one reception this SGP.
FTR, I'm pro-Taylor Swift. Cruel Summer is a BANGER. The far-right hates her because she empowers women. If you get legitimately upset that the broadcast shows the biggest pop star on earth a couple of times, you need to calm down. Worry about something that actually matters, like her carbon footprint.
I still don't know who I'm gonna pick. I'm so fucking torn. I want the Niners to win, but I think the Chiefs will, and at the end of the day, I'm just tryna make a little scratch. I might place parlays with each team that make it possible for me to bet both ways and still have a profitable Super Bowl Dozie. Like I wanna pick the Niners, sooo bad, but the Chiefs have the better QB, kicker, and coach. Defenses are basically even; the league wants them to win; Brock Purdy is a game manager, and the Niners have struggled to get this far (they owe Dan Campbell some Metallica tickets or something), but am I seriously gonna bet against Mahomes? I've done it before and won, but it's not the most intelligent move. Sure, I was right in Super Bowl LV and the 2018 and 2022 AFC Championship Games. I've been decent at knowing when to take KC. I was on them last year and doubled down when they were down 10 at half. I'm high-key talking out of both sides of my mouth here because, again, I'm likely gonna find a way where I can sprinkle both ways and will likely do something live, too, based on game flow, but fuck it...who's actually reading this? Just get high and look at the collage. You'll have fun. I hope Usher crushes it, and we all make some money. Fuck it. I'm going with my heart instead of my head. Don't forget how much Mahomes and the Chiefs' offense struggled against Baltimore! Behind CMC and their D, the Niners win their first Super Bowl in almost 30 years. 49ers: 31 Chiefs: 27 58 points for Super Bowl Dozo. I'll comment my plays throughout the day, but the Doz Man HAD to take this. My hands were tied.
Since Elon ruined twitter and you can't see the entire post in an embedded tweet:
This is so Boston PRed Sox it hurts. Why sign any free agents or try to compete with the rest of Major League Baseball when you can whore yourself out (it's just an expression, Dozo supports sex workers!) to Netflix for the Hard Knocks nobody asked for? What a sick joke that the Red Sox will have two Netflix series, but it's still pretty much impossible to stream their games unless you want to get a 2nd mortgage to afford NESN+ (lol jk. You probably don't own a house because the American Dream is dead, but it's a solid figure of speech...you get it).
Even though I haven't made the impact on the internet or world that I would've liked to by this point in my life, I'd like to believe I was one of the first people to arrive to the "John Henry is an evil, soulless, out of touch billionaire that does not care about the Red Sox anymore" party. I was likeMichael Scott and Dwight at David Wallace's party early. I hated but tolerated ownership well before the Mookie giveaway because winning appeared to still be a priority. As loyal DOL readers know, that franchise altering decision was the straw that broke Ole Dozo's back and something I've spent a liiiiittle bit of time on.
The word outraged has kind of lost its meaning in today's social and political landscape, but that trade outraged tf out of me. My stances have evolved over the past four years. I still hate John Henry, Tom Werner, and Fenway Sports Group (FSG), but I don't hate the Red Sox. I actually love the Red Sox and all the great memories they provided me, but I refuse to support them in any capacity as long as these scumbags own the club. THEY DON'T CARE ANYMORE!
FSG is arguably hated more across the pond by Liverpool supporters, and I don't let my brothers and sisters walk alone. From my observations, more and more Red Sox fans have finally had enough with FSG. I refuse to invest my time, emotions, or money in anything FSG. The fucking gall of these scumbags to say this when they traded Mookie Betts, a sure-fire Hall of Famer, for a couple of cans of soup TO SAVE MONEY when you're one of the richest teams in all of sports.
This was pulled directly off of FSG's website.
I'm not surprised there will be a 20th anniversary of the Curse Breaking special. That's actually pretty cool. That team means so much to millions of people and will be awesome to relive. Sure, it's disgusting how that was 20 years ago, but as we all know, time is a biggg ole bitch. You just know that ownership is gonna milk everything they can out of all the '04 anniversary shit this year since the current Red Sox will be lucky to win 75 games. This same organization did an 8th anniversary celebration of the 2004 team in 2012 in an attempt to draw fans during that dumpster fire of a season.
Even though I'm sure that the Red Sox have total creative control here and will make Himmler's films look impartial, maaaaaybe there's a chance this somehow backfires on FSG and doesn't create some Drive to Survive type hype around the Boston Red Sox. I think FSG forgot that you need stars and not fucking suck to gain that following. You don't have a Daniel Ricciardo. Fingers crossed this somehow leads to them selling the Sox. This docuseries would've been an awesome idea in 2013, but the Red Sox ship is sinking, and this isn't gonna be the lifeboat they desperately need. Please sell the team to a billionaire that cares about the Red Sox, and don't forget that you're scumbags for partnering with LIV Golf in addition to trading Mookie Betts for gift cards to Circuit City and Tower Records. Song: One Night/All Night Artist: Justice (starring Tame Impala) Album: Hyperdrama (2024) "One Night/All Night" is a straight-up groove. It's not an exaggeration to call this song a trancy vibe masterpiece. The only downside is it's got me itching for more new Tame Impala (The Slow Rush turns four on Valentine's Day). Hopefully, Tame will release a new album soon. Bonus points for the lyrical content that will surely upset the unintelligent!!
I swear, every time I've gone on IG in February, there's been a Patriots Super Bowl anniversary post from the Pats official account smack dab in my timeline where memes and thicccc baddies are supposed to be.
Look at their last six posts.
Four of them commemorate the anniversary of Super Bowl wins. If you scroll once, two more posts pay homage to their respective pillars of the Double-Dynasty.
Don't get it twisted, I'd love to see the Pats win more Super Bowls, but I'm also okay with the prospect of that never happening again in my lifetime. Don't get me wrong, I'm not actively rooting against them like I do the Red Sox (fuck John Henry), but a half dozen Lombardis is ridiculous. We, as fans, have been so fucking lucky to dominate for two decades. Think of how many "one-ring" dynasties there's been over that timeframe. Like the Legion of Boom only got one. Of all those great Packers teams, Rodgers and Favre each only won once. '85 Bears. I could go on forever, baby, but I've actually had this blog idea for a minute and don't wanna give away any more examples (unfortunately, the big three Celtics also fall in the one-ring dynasty category).
We're about to enter a pivotal transitional time in franchise history. Someone other than Bill Belichick is coaching this team for the first time in my conscious fandom. We currently hold the 3rd pick in the draft. The AFC is loaded, and we're in the shit. It's been 30 years since things were so bleak for the Pats. I don't have any strong opinions on the coordinator hires, but I do not love the addition of Ben McAdoo to the staff. Dude's a joke.
Do you understand how hard it is to win 11 games your first year on the job and not make it to the end of year two?
Maybe the Patriots will have a quick rebuild. This year's Houston Texans and countless other examples throughout NFL history have gone from worst to first in a single year. The Patriots have legitimately hundreds of millions in cap space and, despite going 4-13, sported the 15th-best scoring defense with their two best players out. But this isn't the time to predict the future; I'm here to respect the past.
This week is the perfect time to reflect on how incredible that run was. We went a decade without a ring and still managed to end up with six. It really is fucking absurd, and it's not that big of a stretch to say the Pats could've won 7-12 Super Bowls (06,07,10,11,12,15,17,19...tbh I should put 08 too..if Brady didn't get hurt...fuck). Yeah, I don't love that Patrick Mahomes could already be halfway to us by Sunday night, but I'm also not a Mahomes hater. The dude led me to my first fantasy championship, so he'll always have my respect. I definitely would rather see the Niners win, but I'm having a hard time passing up Mahomes at plus money. ICYMI: The Patriots have won six Super Bowls (across four different dates). They've won more Super Bowls on February 3rd than 17 teams have in their history on any day. The Patriots hoisted the Lombardi on the following dates:
February 3rd, 2002
February 1st, 2004
February 6th, 2005 (19th anniversary today)
February 1st, 2015
February 5th, 2017
February 3rd, 2019
Today's the 6th and we've already celebrated six Super Bowl wins. If you wanna look at it non-year order it goes:
February 1st: Super Bowl XXXVIII and XLIX anniversaries. February 2nd: X February 3rd: Both Rams Super Bowl anniversaries. February 4th: X February 5th: Super Bowl LI anniversary February 6th: Super Bowl XXXIX anniversary. Not a bad week. I'm just so thankful that I got to root for this team and make some incredible memories while enjoying the ride with loved ones. You cannot beat being a New Englander in the beginning of the new millennium in terms of professional sports success. Of course, the way it ended sucked, but most endings aren't ideal. I didn't watch it, but...Game of Thrones...You probably won't die in your sleep at 90... Sometimes, you lose the greatest QB of all time as the world collapses from a pandemic... Whatever happens next, there will always be these early February memories and yearly instagram reminders. Hopefully, the Celtics add another championship anniversary this summer. If Belichick didn't bench Malcolm Butler we could've had February 4th too. P.S. If I had to pick a favorite Super Bowl out of all six, it's XLIX. Nothing can ever top that. The wait, all the close calls since '04, the way the game ended. I don't know how you beat Super Bowl XLIX. Double P.S. This entire blog is high key contingent on the Pats winning another Super Bowl. If they're posting the 38th anniversary of Super Bowl XXXVIII and haven't won any since LIII, that's gonna be a bad look. Song: The Bends (1995) Artist: Radiohead Album: The Bends I wouldn't be shocked if I'm in the worldwide top 10 for most plays of "The Bends" in the past week. I cannot get enough of this condition I hope to never deal with. The 2024 equivalent of wishing it was the 60s, as Thom Yorke's frantic does in "The Bends," is wishing it was the 90s. I, too, wanna be part of the human race. It feels like I haven't been lately, which I should write about, but that feeling makes everything seem pointless! I'm not as depressed as that sounds (don't get me wrong, I am); it's more so disillusioned. Ya boi just gets super bummed out about how bleak things seem, feeling more alone and insignificant as ever on this little pebble in the sky where people actively make life worse for each other. If I end up diving deeper into this topic like I know deep down I should, I will use this general thought again, but this is like a little soft launch...it's insane now man's most prominent predator in life is man. It'd be one thing if generations of people were riddled with anxiety and depression because we constantly lived in fear of being an animal higher on the food chain's next meal; that makes perfect sense to me. I'm sure the people who do live in those conditions are not super laid back, but why do we, as people, let the powers that be be this way? I feel like I'm rambling at this point, but that's merely a defense mechanism. I know exactly what I'm getting at if anybody actually reads this. Sure, I may be speaking in generalities right now as I dust the cobwebs off the keyboard and write my first February blog on the 6th...fuck it, I'm going Dozie's Brain Dump next post. I fucking do love this song though.
via: stereogum
Last year Talking Heads shocked everyone by reuniting for a series of promotional appearances behind A24's restoration of their 1984 concert film Stop Making Sense. Of course everyone wanted to know if the band members, who haven't performed together since their Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame induction in 2002 and haven't toured in forty years, would be playing shows now that they're on speaking terms. Sources now tell Billboard that the group has turned down an $80 million offer from Live Nation to headline six to eight festival gigs and headlining concerts.
Coachella was also interested in a Talking Heads reunion. Festival curator and Goldenvoice president Paul Tollett tells Billboard that he traveled to the Toronto International Film Festival to discuss the potential of a performance with Talking Heads, but "sensed there were no shows happening, so I didn't make an offer."
In 2022 I wrote a blog Top 10 Bands That Need to Grow Up, Reunite, and Tour Again, and Talking Heads took home the bronze!
When the RISD-rooted quartet recently reunited for some speaking engagements to discuss the 40th anniversary of Stop Making Sense, people (me) started getting their hopes up that we'd maaaybe get this once-in-a-lifetime reunion that fans and humanity in general could use.
Part of me is like, why do you even care, bro? It's not like you'd be able to afford to see any of these potential shows as a millennial (which is true), but it's the principle! I know the blogging numbers haven't been where they should be, but I hope you all still know that the hashtag good guy wants a world where as many people as possible (all of them) are living their best wild wild life (I'm one of those big pussies who believes in peace). Can we please have some cool shit going on before we're all dead for eternity? Like this needs to happen. Art is essential for humanity to not be so fucking dreary, and Talking Heads are the ultimate art band. It's sooooo ridiculous that they're all still kicking, have this opportunity and aren't making it work. Where the fuck is Tim Gunn when you need him? I'm not gonna take the obvious angle and be like, how do you turn down 80 million for a handful of shows? I'm sure they all have something better going on lol...Let's pretend there's "no number," but the thing is, there's always a number. You're a liar if you say otherwise. There's a number. What's it gonna take? Cause I have a great idea that works for all potential parties. ICYMI: Mark Zuckerberg, and some other tech CEOs got griiiiillled like Michael Scott's foot today by Congress for some of the unethical issues with their social media platforms.
I almost feel bad for Zuck. He was literally and figuratively taking hits left and right.
I didn't see much more of the footage of the hearing than that clip and Tom Cotton being a racist moron, looking like Droopy the dog, but I'd imagine Zuck didn't say anything like, "Senator, where's this energy for school shootings? You're on a road to nowhere there," cause I definitely would've heard and likely wouldn't have birthed this potential Talking Heads-Mark Zuckerberg mash-up. How can you say you're worried about "the safety of young people" with a straight face when you do nothing about them getting mowed down in schools? If Zuck's not gonna do anything about that, then at least he has an opportunity to get some good press here. Dude, you're worth 141.5 BILLION dollars. Get in a room with Talking Heads, and don't leave until you figure out how to make this tour happen! Stream some of the shows on Facebook and IG. â
Nothing says, "My bad for the algi (that's algorithm for the olds) that made your kid hang themselves," like being the person who got the fucking Talking Heads back together to perform for a bunch of influencers at Coachella that only know "This Must Be the Place" from TikTok.
Be a human animal one time and create something awesome that literally millions (if not billions) can enjoy. Do it for the influencers and rich, cool grandparents, Zuck! Think of the 1%. Or you could go full send into getting the public to like you again and pay Talking Heads whatever they ask for, make the concert FREE, and stream it on your platforms so you can still make some ad money. That won't even be like a quarter of a percent of your net worth, bro. I think I just became a PR guy. Song: Burning Down the House Artist: Paramore Album: Everybody's Getting Involved: A Tribute To Talking Heads' Stop Making Sense (2024) We all know Dozie loves a good cover song (but has little to no respect for one-hit wonders whose lone hit was a cover...I'm looking at you, The Artaris). Hayley absolutely crushes this. She's got Greg Maddux-level (vocal) control. Her voice fits perfectly. I know over a dozen artists are attached to this project, but can we please get Paramore (or The 1975...they'd kill it, too) to do a shot-for-shot remake of Stop Making Sense? They've got me hungry for Para-more. I'm still riding high from my divisional round picks, going 4-0 and finally hitting a nice lil SGP (+1038), but every real football fan knows that is a bittersweet day. As SNL reminded us last night, football is almost over. Today, two teams will punch their tickets to Vegas for Super Bowl Dozo (58), and before you know it, you'll get your Sundays back, but there will be a Scott Hanson-sized hole in your heart. We've got two great (on paper) matchups with plenty of narratives and X-factors. We're getting v close to kickoff, so let's get to the games. AFC Championship Game: (3) Kansas City Chiefs vs. (1) Baltimore Ravens. M&T Bank Stadium. 3:00 PM. CBS & Paramount+. Despite the Ravens' success, this is the first AFC Championship Game in Baltimore since 1971, when the Baltimore Colts beat the Oakland Raiders. R.I.P. both franchises playing in those cities. We can break down X's and O's all you want. You want me to tell you the 2023 Ravens only give up 16.5 PPG (which was the best in the league)? You got it. The Chiefs defense is no slouch either, yielding the 2nd fewest PPG in the league at 17.3. That's all well and good, but we all know this game is all about the quarterbacks. Will likely MVP Lamar Jackson make enough plays against a tough Chiefs D? Are Patrick Mahomes' pass catchers not named Travis Kelce and Rashee Rice gonna let perfect passes slip through their fingertips? It's gonna be a wet and windy game, which is not ideal for bad WRs. Both teams have strong running games, although Pacheco is banged up. I love both kickers hitting over 1.5 FGs. I already have that in an SGP with a Lamar rushing TD, at least one Gus Edwards reception and Kelce recording a 21+ yard reception. Chiefs G Joe Thuney is out and will miss his first career playoff game, which does not bode well for KC. Even if they pull off the "upset" today, he'll likely miss the Super Bowl. Mark Andrews is set to return for the Ravens, and even though he's an All-Pro caliber player with three pro bowl berths, he's the biggest X-factor in this game. If the Ravens can get a classic Mark Andrews game, like 6 catches for 80-something yards and a tuddy, we might get saved from yet another Chiefs Super Bowl appearance. IMO, it's a good ole fashioned head vs. heart matchup. My head says the Ravens are the best team in football, but my heart says Patrick Mahomes. Anytime you can get Mahomes at plus money, you have to take it (which I am going to). I hope whoever wins this game gets killed by the NFC champs, but the fix may be in. When Shawn Smith is the head ref, road teams win about 10% more than usual. It doesn't take a master in conspiracies to know the NFL would rather have the Chiefs in the Super Bowl to get the Taylor Swift audience. Stavvy baby and Michael Phelps don't quite move the needle the same way. Chiefs 30 Ravens 27 NFC Championship Game: (3) Detroit Lions vs. (1) San Francisco 49ers. Levis Stadium. 6:30 PM. FOX. The Lions are the only team left without an elite defense, which worries me against perhaps the most loaded offense in the league. Deebo's playing, but luckily for Detroit, Brock Purdy is still the 49ers QB. Don't let the hype and feel-good storyline fool you. He's just a guy. He's a solid game manager, but last week showed us both sides of the Purdy coin. The 49ers should win this game, but the Lions are live af. It wouldn't shock me if Purdy struggled.
If I were Dan Campbell, I'd want the ball first. Go down, score, and put the heat on San Fran immediately. SF is built to play with a lead and doesn't get run on a bunch because of this. The Lions have a two-headed monster in the backfield, so if they're in a spot where they don't have to abandon the running game, we could be primed for the upset. Both teams are full of lovable dudes that I'd like to see win rings, and while it's lame to go with the favorite, these Niners are too good. The Lions have been an awesome story and if they prove me wrong I won't be upset at all, but unless Purdy throws three picks, the Niners should take care of business. At this point, CMC is like -4000 to score a touchdown, but I wouldn't be shocked to see him find the endzone multiple times tonight. I'm debating taking Lions +7, but probably just gonna go the prop route. Sorry I rushed this blog and am feeling self conscious about its quality, but today we're more concerned with hitting some parlays. Also, don't forget that 49ers ROOKIE kicker Jake Moody has been shaky at times this season and his entire family is Lions fans. I'm not saying he's gonna throw the game, but the human brain is a weird thing...what if it comes down to him late and he just can't be the one who kills the Lions. 49ers 34 Lions 30 Song: Beautiful People (Stay High) Artist: The Black Keys Album: Ohio Players This is the "Lonely Boy" video concept on steroids (laced with acid). I hope you Beautiful People (Stay high) on this Conference Championship Sunday. Whomstever wins the NFCCG is who I want to win the Super Bowl. |
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