The teaser life is not for everybody. There's nothing more frustrating than having a leg or two hold you back from a nice +1000 payout (or higher if you use anything that's not the RI Sportsbook App). Week 1 #TML went 5-3, last week's edition went 6-2, both results were about as useful as a fork with a bowl of soup, but I'm thinking this week we skip the 7-1 step altogether and go right for 8-0.
This (and lil baby half-unit wagers) is why I'm not too concerned with an 0-2 showing on Thursday Night Football. I got those losses out of my system, so let's dive right into TML like Hayley Williams in a very underrated Paramore song.
Cardinals -2 (teased from -8)
The Cards got away with one last weekend, but it's the fucking Jaguars. I'm not wasting our time here. Kyler might drop a 50 burger. Urban ain't the guy!
Browns -1.5 (teased from -7.5)
Odell returns from his torn ACL today, but I think it's gonna be more of a ground and pound game from the Browns against a QB (Justin Fields) making his first career start. Control that clock! Cleveland is wearing these beauties today, which highly influenced my pick.
Chiefs -1 (teased from -7)
Everybody knows the stats about how the Chiefs don't cover and that I don't mess with the Chiefs (I can't stand Tyreek Hill or Travis Kelce), but I'm not going to let my hate stand in the way of a clear KC bounce back spot. I'm a big believer in Justin Herbert and would rather see the Chargers win, but gambling isn't about what you'd like to see happen; it's what you think is going to happen...and sometimes a case of mental gymnastics fading yourself. I just don't see the Chiefs losing two games in a row, even with their shaky defense. The Chiefs really can just "call the touchdown" play at will and going back to Arrowhead after a tough loss; I love the Chiefs in a -1 to get back in the win column.
Patriots +3 (teased from -3)
The Patriots have sneakily given up the 2nd fewest points in the NFL. While Jameis is the ultimate wildcard, I don't trust him against a Belichick defense. Plus, its fucking Julian Edelman day at Foxboro. They won't lose this game, but I expect it to be by 3 or less if they somehow do. I probably should've just teased the under.
Bills -1 (teased from Bills -7)
After dropping their home opener, the Bills are coming off of a 35-0 blow-out win in Miami; I love them to treat the home fans to a victory this afternoon. I feel like the media is dying to make Tyler Heinicke happen, but it's not going to happen. Also, WTF going on with the WFT defense? The Bills will be circling the wagons today!
Titans +1 (teased from Titans -5)
After an emotional comeback win in Seattle after an embarrassing Week 1 loss, the Titans return to the Music City to face the Colts. Carson Wentz is playing with two sprained ankles, if the Titans don't win this game they should have to finish out the year in the SEC in place of Vandy.
Ravens -1.5 (teased from -7.5) AND OVER 45 (teased from 51)
The Ravens are banged up coming off a huge win, which makes me think this is a little bit of a letdown spot, but it's the Lions. I respect what Dan Campbell is doing; this team doesn't give up, which is why I love the teased-over. I wouldn't be shocked to see the Lions up 10 early with the Ravens getting their shit together late.
This is our week, but always wager responsibly!!
TML 2020 Results:
Week 2 and 3
Week 4; (Week 4 victory recap)
Week 5; (booo Bengals)
Week 7; (Week 7 victory recap)
Week 13; (Victory recap)
Week 15; (victory recap)