Via: Deadline (what an unfortunate name given the circumstances)
âNorm Macdonald, whose laconic delivery of sharp and incisive observations made him one of Saturday Night Live's most influential and beloved cast members, died today after a nine-year private battle with cancer. He was 61. Macdonald's death was announced to Deadline by his management firm Brillstein Entertainment. The comedian's longtime producing partner and friend Lori Jo Hoekstra, who was with him when he died, said Macdonald had been battling cancer for nearly a decade but was determined to keep his health struggles private, away from family, friends and fans. "He was most proud of his comedy," Hoekstra said. "He never wanted the diagnosis to affect the way the audience or any of his loved ones saw him. Norm was a pure comic. He once wrote that 'a joke should catch someone by surprise, it should never pander.' He certainly never pandered. Norm will be missed terribly."
Usually, when I'm at work, my phone is welded to my hand, but today I just so happened to be explaining what the three branches of government are to a bunch of freshmen when I saw that I had five missed texts in a group chat. At 2:29 PM, I learned of both Norm Macdonald's passing and the fact that he had cancer the last nine years.
I don't want it to seem like I keep tabs on who does or doesn't have cancer, but I was stunned by this news. Usually, that isn't something people can keep secret for obvious reasons, but apparently, not even Norm's best friends in the biz or even his own family knew; I can't imagine their shock and heartbreak. I'm still fucking shocked, so sad, so relatively young. Norm Macdonald was the same age as my dad, so you know it hits harder. Norm was one of the funniest comedians of all time who was an absolute badass. He didn't take shit from anybody. An NBC exec wanted him to lay off the O.J. material on Weekend Update (which he hosted from 1994-98), which only made him rip into The Juice harder. He was utterly fearless as a performer who lived for awkward moments. Moments that make our skin crawl made his heartbeat. He didn't need our laughs to be hilarious. No performance does a better job explaining that than his appearance at the Bob Saget Roast in 2008. Ladies and gentlemen, this man is for the birds.
Andy Samberg tried to intentionally bomb at the Roast of James Franco (which I thought was funny) but paled in comparison to what Norm Macdonald said in '08.
There'll be plenty of obits that can tell you about his entire career and credits, but what I think best explains Norm's gift was the opinion of fellow comedians. This man hosted Weekend Update, so it's not like he was a nobody, but he certainly didn't have the fame, name recognition or W-2 as a Dave Chappelle, Richard Pryor, or Louis C.K. What Norm had was the respect and love of fellow comics, which I think says a lot more than total tickets sold. He's like an indie band revered by more commercial, mainstream artists for being a truly better musician who just doesn't get the recognition he deserves. Norm Macdonald was beloved, and it just blows my mind that he kept his cancer a secret for so long. I hate to speculate at a time like this, but it almost makes you wonder if he had said something to someone if they could've helped? My earliest memories of Norm are as Adam Sandler's buddy in Billy Madison. Sooooo fucking funny, man. What's today?.......October?
I was fortunate enough to be exposed to SNL at a very young age. While I didn't watch him in real-time, thanks to a bunch of Best of DVDs and reruns, I saw my fair share of Bert Reynolds/Turd Ferguson, which IMO (along with Darryl Hammond's Sean Connery) is what made Celebrity Jeopardy one of the best reoccurring SNL skits of all-time.
The news of Norm's passing comes as an absolute shock. Terms like "G.O.A.T." or legend get passed around too freely in all fields, but they would be appropriate when talking about the legacy of Norm Macdonald. That made was a comedy legend and will be sorely missed. He didn't lose his battle with cancer; it was a draw.
R.I.P. Norm Macdonald
P.S.
This made me LOL for five minutes.
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Song: Ticket to Ride (1965) Artist: The Beatles Album: Help!
Straight from my Apple Music.
I just want to get out in front of this, admit I was wrong and reflect on one of my biggest flaws as a human.
So the VMAs were last night, but since MTV is irrelevant when it comes to anything that isn't Ridiculousness, I had no idea until it was like half over. Olivia Rodrigo won three VMAs: Best New Artist, Song of the Year, and Push Performance of the Year (WTF does that mean?) which makes my stance at least a little timely.
I say that because earlier when I was hanging with the boys, Olivia Rodrigo came up in conversation. I was kind of a hardo about her music (again) despite never really giving it a chance. I don't absorb much mainstream music (I'm not cool), making me hesitant to "conform." The whole Disney background was a turnoff too; it made me not take her seriously as an artist. The SNL bar skit was the closest I got to actually listening to her music. Honestly, all I really knew about her was Driver License, that iPad commercial that's on every 45 seconds, and that she went to the White House to help Uncle Joe convince the brainwashed that vaccines are a good thing. Trust Tree: As someone who deals with Gen Zers for a living, I'm not that fond of them. Despite having more access to technology than any previous generation, they know nothing about anything that happened before they were alive and have stupid hair.
Google search: "Tik Tok Boy Hair"
I know; I'm the only person ever who had beef with the generation below them for stupid reasons. I thought it was kind of whack for full-grown adults to be vibing out to some "kid" singing about a fucking license...like they've actually lived and gone through shit. Then I remembered how much I hated adults who treated me like that when I was that age and realized there's a reason so many people fear about becoming their parents; a low-key come to Jesus moment when I said that out loud.
Like I've done throughout my nearly 30 years of life with countless foods, people, movies, shows, songs, states, family members, etc., I said I don't like something without really giving it a chance. It's an awful trait that I wish I could just erase, but it's easy to generalize and assume when you're lazy. One of my few childhood memories I can remember semi-well is saying that I didn't like Finding Nemo before I even saw it because I was 11 and thought I was cool at that age where "I'm not a little kid anymore," then I ended up going to see it and fucking loved it since I have a soul. In school, I'd say I'd hate people that I didn't even know. We'd joke about how I start off hating everybody and how you'd have to "earn" me liking you (like it fucking matters). I'd say I hate foods that I realistically haven't had since I was a kid or just straight up assumed I wouldn't like because they look gross. I did the same with Olivia's tunes. I have to stop abusing the word hate with things; I know it's gonna come back to haunt me with old posts someday. My family has been warning me how I speak since I started talking. After my friend, who's about to be a father, was like, "I fuck with her," I decided to give Olivia a chance and listened to the whole album on the way home. If his grown ass can get down to it, then who tf am to hate? I was a big emo kid in late middle and early high school; one of my last screen names was "AvNGedRYanfold." Pop-punk and emo mean a lot to me, and seeing hacks like MGK (I actually did listen to his album and truly hate it) get credit for bringing back the genre rubbed me the wrong way. I just put up a wall for all new emo (I'd say you could classify her as that with the lyrical content). She gives me major Paramore vibes, which I guess isn't exactly the most original take, but again, my bad for being such a judgmental h8r. After all, it's brutal out here.
P.S.
I support all people's right to identify with whatever gender they want and agree that the world needs more inclusion. I want people to be comfortable and able to live authentically as themselves. I was down with the Potato Head rebrand because it made sense, but calling a VMA a "Moon Person" instead of a "Moon Man" is a fucking joke. For the sake of alliteration, it sounds way worse, and how does that help anybody? So self-righteous to think this is what's gonna save lives. I know it changed a few years back, but it's just so stupid and disingenuous. Are they gonna start calling Oscars a gender-neutral name? "And the Dana goes too...." The same goes for eliminating gendered award categories. You're only hurting the artists. How are fewer awards a good thing? Have "Best Male," "Best Female," then do a "Best Overall." It's like how the AFC champ plays the NFC champ in the Super Bowl. If you fall under the non-binary umbrella, congrats, you get a bye to "Best Overall." Problem solved! The Mac Jones Era Officially Begun (Began?) With Perhaps the Most Encouraging Loss of All-Time9/13/2021
Before I halfback dive into yesterday's game, I just wanna give a quick apology to all those who rode #TML. It means the fucking world to me to have even a handful of people tail me, so I'm sorry for the loss and costing you some scratch, but that's simply a part of gambling. It's a long and BIG season, we've got plenty of time to bounce back, but I should've been more prepared (even though Week 1 is an absolute crapshoot). I hate betting unders and have been told it's not smart to tease past zero, but next week's bet will look much different than this week's 5-3 aka 0-1 showing.
Vince Lombardi was famously credited with saying, "winning isn't everything, but it's the only thing." What's not as famous is Lombardi's later regret for that statement.
Obviously, winning yesterday was the preferred outcome; I love Ted Lasso, but I'm not that far off the reservation; I want to win. Winning matters. You can quote me on that, but apart from the in-the-moment emotions of losing a game they should've won, you have to be excited as a Patriots fan.
There's no denying this loss could ultimately cost the Pats this season. They dropped a home game to a division opponent that has legit playoff aspirations, this L could theoretically cost them the playoffs, but I feel great about this team not just in the future but for the rest of the season. Mac Jones looked great (apart from his first drop back). I thought the defense played pretty well after the opening series. Folk was 3/3. It's one game, and with 17 regular-season games, a loss has never counted less. We'll take our L, but Patriot fans should feel great about the future of this organization. Ryan Leaf started his career 2-0. Winning your career opener isn't everything.
There's no doubt that the Patriots let it slip away yesterday and while blaming the loss on Damien Harris' fumble is easy, it's not that simple. He had 117 total yards. If Mac Jones doesn't hit all the wrong buttons on his first drop back of the game, there's a great chance the Patriots score on that drive. Those points surely would've been valuable in what ended up being a one-point loss.
I had a terrible feeling going into that play. I was getting major Super Bowl LIII opening drive vibes. The Pats ran the ball on four straight plays to get to the Miami 30 yard line and BAM. The first time the QB does something other than handoff, chaos ensues. Even though they recovered the fumble, Mac's first drop back was an absolute early drive killer à la Laura Bush (in addition to the next play call).
I haaaaate punting inside the 45 unless it's super long yardage, and while the Patriots were facing a 4th and 17 on their own 37, I would've much preferred attempting the 54 yarder. I get it; you have an All-Pro Punter, you're playing the field position game early, I don't remember the wind situation, AND I have the benefit of hindsight. Still, I'd take my chances with the field goal over punting pretty deep in opponent territory. It ended up being only a 17-yard difference, and Miami ended up scoring a touchdown anyway. Again, I know hindsight is 20/20; this isn't my first blog....it's my 239th of the year!
Mac Jones wasn't exactly Patrick Mahomes, but he played the best of any rookie QB by a substantial margin.
Not bad for your first career professional start.
This play didn't count, but I love what it shows: Mac's pocket prescience and mobility (something scouts/critics/people I saw on Twitter said he had none of!)
I was watching the Pats on the smallest of three available screens at my buddy's, but this throw and catch had me fired tf up—absolute dime (and a great snag by Sweetfeet as well).
Speaking of third down, that had to be one of the biggest highlights of the day (although a pessimist could focus on the red zone stalling). 11/16 on third down was good for a nearly nice 68.75%...fuck it, we can round up to a 69% conversion rate. That has to be some sort of first start record that I will not be following up with an ounce of research.
I loved what I saw out of Jonnu; I can't wait until these tight ends really get going. His fumble was simply human nature after a table-topping.
AND he basically said what this entire blog is saying.
IMO the biggest bummer of the game isn't the loss but Rhamondre Stevenson fumbling on his first career touch. I think that may have played a role in Damien's heavy workload. Harris played 40 snaps to Rhamondre's 5. Maybe that was how the Patriots had it planned, but I think it's fair to assume 38's fumble cost him some playing time. Total speculation, but maybe if he doesn't fumble and ends up with like 4-8 carries, and Damien doesn't fumble late with a little more in the tank? Just an interesting domino effect situation to think about. I was super bummed to see J.J. be a health scratch too. Not exactly an ideal first week for two of the preseason's best backs.
Make no mistakes, this will go into the record books as a loss for the New England Patriots, but apart for giving away the game late you have to be excited about the future of this team. Mac looks like that dude. My future boss put it perfectly. #HireDozo
In short: Penalties and fumbles (Mac, Rhamondre, AND Damien's...I still think it's wrong to put all the blame on #37) ultimately cost the Patriots the game, but this team is going places, and Mac Jones' poise is a major reason why. I can't wait to get back in the win column against the Jets next week.
P.S.
I get it, you lost, you're pissed, but I didn't love the football speak, hardo-ish reason for not caring about his first touchdown ball. Maybe it's just my sentimental, inner hoarder, but you gotta cherish that shit---even though the last line gets me a tad pumped. You're gonna want that ball when you're 50.
Double P.S.
Okay, when he said "we will," it moved a little. This boy has that Ocean Alley confidence, baaaaabyyy.
At this point, not that rare, Triple P.S.
Guess who else started 0-1? The 2001, 2003, AND 2014 New England Patriots. That's half of their rings for those who haven't gotten their calculator out yet. Song: You Dropped a Bomb on Me (1982) Artist: The Gap Band Album: Gap Band IV Dale Arnold used to play this on his show after hanging up on a caller; it's literally the only cool thing about him. Clearly, I haven't learned the adobe cloud yet :( Baby It's Back, the Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week has returned for year 2 for the NFL's BIGGEST season ever. On this September 12th, I hope we can Never Forget the history of the most successful underground teaser on the internet by a niche blogger who DID create @URIprobs which had close to 6,000 followers at its peak. TML 2020 Results: Week 2 and 3 Week 4; (Week 4 victory recap) Week 5; (booo Bengals) Week 6 Week 7; (Week 7 victory recap) Week 8 Week 9 Week 10 Week 11 Week 12 Week 13; (Victory recap) Week 14 Week 15; (victory recap) Week 16 Week 17 #TML was born out of a failure after a 6-leg teaser from Week 1 last year went 5-1 thanks to the 1 in the Jaguars' 1-15 record. The Jags' only win of the season killed my teaser, but it birthed a movement that spread like when you drop a joint on the ground, and it burns a tiny spot on the rug: TOO MANY LEGS, an 8-leg, +1000 teaser (you get even better odds away from the RI sports book). A 3-0 (24 leg) start to the season made us profitable for the entire year. Five wins at +1000 and one at +800 made year one of TML a +47 unit success. TML has BIG things in store for the BIGGEST season ever, I am thinking little videos to release the picks instead of blogs. That'll likely increase its ability to spread since my blogs aren't allowed to go viral, but I'll be honest, I spent all day yesterday watching various 9/11 documentaries, so I didn't get a chance to go as big as I'd like for week one. Today's gonna be a throwback quicky, not much writing, just winners (hopefully). Week 1 of the season is always the biggest crapshoot; there's gonna be some upset where we're like HOW TF did that happen (like last years Jags win) so today we're going to be mostly focused on points. Teams are going off...fireworks. **09 Drizzy voice** In the BIGGEST season ever, you know Roger's got some shady shit up his sleeve. While I'm terrified about the new taunting rule ruining the emotion of the game, I do think we're gonna see some fireworks in Week 1 to remind the world of the NFL's chokehold on American culture. We're gonna see some points, today folks, let's look at the Teaser. Best of luck, and always wager responsibly!
Song: Smooth Criminal (2001) Artist: Alien Ant Farm Album: ANThology It's the first full slate of NFL games for the new league year; it might as well be Christmas. Like Christmas after 25, there's a chance you could get a gift from someone who's not your parents! Not only does football season mean the return of SODs on the Lord's day, but much, much more importantly, it marks the return of Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week (+47 units in 2020). ICYMI, all September long DOL SODs (Dozonlife Song of the Day for any new readers) will have one thing in common: a spot on Clear Channel's (now iHeartMedia) memo of songs (and RATM's entire catalog) to avoid in the wake of 9/11. Today's tune has undoubtedly been featured as a SOD before, but as a lover of cross-genre covers and narratives, we're gonna try to rob our respective sportsbooks or bookies (please wager responsibly) like some Jarvis Landry Smooth Criminals.
I haven't watched the whole interview yet and likely won't, but when I woke up at 9:50 AM to get ready for #DozVsTheDozen, I saw and heard all I needed to.
Ever since Cam's semi-shocking release last week, all the content I've absorbed has been along the same lines. Cam is too well-respected and big of a personality to be a backup; His presence would divide a locker-room; It'd be bad for Mac Jones' development. â
Today, Cam basically said what we're all thinking. He was surprised by the release and thought his personality played a role in the Patriots decision. I agree. Not to make everything about Tim Tebow, but it's a similar situation to him in the wake of Tebowmania. The distraction wasn't worth it. You don't want your backup to be the most popular guy in town. People love Cam. I love this era where athletes can be open about what's going on from the business/personnel standpoint, but you have to wonder if something like this will hurt Cam's chances of getting another job? I'd assume it won't, especially after saying how he would've accepted the backup position if offered, but I am 100% rooting for Cam to land on his feet. I was a freshman in college during Cam's year at Auburn and loved watching him play. He sort of filled my Tebow void (with Denard Robinson). Cam was one of the most dynamic QBs I've ever seen. What he did with that team is 1000% more impressive than what Joe Burrow did in 2019. Other than Nick Fairley (who wasn't even that good of a pro) who else of note was on that roster? Once Cam got to the league, the Panthers were my go-to team in Madden because of him and Greg Olsen, but he's not that guy anymore. Now I still believe he could have a little something left in the tank. He looked good in limited time this preseason. People love to harp on the 8 passing TDs, but he had 12 on the ground last year. Good for 20 total touchdowns. That's still on the low end, but it needs to be said. It's not like he was 1995 Trent Dilfer. I sound like a broken record at this point, but his weapons sucked last year, and Covid fucked everything up. Plus that team was still like 5 plays away from 9-10 wins. I was glad they brought him back to at least spin the tires, but now we're in the Mac Jones era, and I can't wait to see what he's got.
P.S.
Cam has outdone himself with the dreads bursting through his hat like trees through concrete look. I think it's swag. Blows his hat from right before he caught the 'vid before the Chiefs out of the water. When your bruised Coccyx costs you 100K: During TNF (My Brady TD prop cashed in the first half, NBD...even though technically it took until this morning because the RI Sportsbook app kind of stinks), my soon to be former roommate :( told me about this article that broke down the Jackass crew's medical bills over the last 20ish years. There's a great chance you've already seen it too, as this story is making the rounds. Everybody loves Jackass. The prospect of doing all that research over two-plus decades of stunts in Jackassery is right up my alley. I lol'd when I first heard of this stunt. As a blogger, I can tip my beanie to someone willing to do all that legwork; this was no easy task. Think of all that tape you have to go through. According to Nova Legal Funding, this is how it went down: So, we all remember Jackass, right? Their shocking injuries and painful escapades are hard to forget. In light of their new ‘Jackass Forever’ film around the corner, we decided to look at just how much the Jackass crew’s injuries have really cost. Here at Nova Legal Funding, we’ve made it our business to learn everything there is to know about personal injuries and their costs. So that’s why we thought we’d use our knowledge to find out the true cost of Jackass. To do this we created a ‘Jackass Injury Rich List’, to track the total estimated cost of the stars’ injury rap sheets. Johnny Knoxville topped the list, with a total cost of $8,663,000, followed by Ehren McGhehey, who tallied up an estimated $7,380,000 in injuries, and fan-favorite Steve-O, who racked up a total of $5,820,000 during his career as a stuntman. To create the list, we used our internal expertise and data to work out the total cost for each reported injury sustained by the Jackass crew members. The top six members of the ‘Jackass Injury Rich List’, are:
In terms of the most expensive injuries, Johnny Knoxville’s brain hemorrhage in 2020 during filming for ‘Jackass Forever’ is estimated to have cost around $2.5m to care for, while Steve-O’s skull fracture cost an estimated $1.75m. Dave England had surgery after sustaining a neck injury, costing approximately $1.5m. On top of this, Johnny Knoxville has also sustained a reported 16 concussions in his life, equating to roughly $4m in settlement costs, while Ehren McGhehey’s three broken necks and nine knee surgeries add up to around $3.8m. Steve-O has broken his teeth seven times, costing $350,000 to repair. To gauge the cost of each individual injury, our specialist personal injury team tracked the average cost for each type of injury endured by the cast. The team looked at 79 injuries in total, across six members of the Jackass crew – these injuries span across; 28 broken bones, 36 head injuries, and one alligator-related injury. The estimated total cost of injuries across the entire cast is $24,263,000, however this number only accounts for the reported injuries suffered by the main members of the Jackass crew, and we estimate the actual number could be closer to $38m. Ron Sinai, founder and CEO of Nova Legal Funding, said, “At Nova Legal Funding we help thousands of people gain access to funds following a personal injury; whether it be sustained at work, or during their downtime, our mission is to help everyone get the financial help they need. “While the majority of the injuries caused by the crew of Jackass are self-inflicted, and the average person doesn’t usually injure themselves this often, we wanted to show how much these painful accidents cost in medical bills, so fans of the show can appreciate the financial and medical consequences of living such an adrenaline-fuelled life!” Due to ongoing reports regarding Bam Margera’s mental health, and his exclusion from ‘Jackass Forever’, Nova Legal Funding chose not to include him in this study. Internal expertise and data for each specific injury has been tracked to reveal the total cost of each person’s injuries. That lower case "k" in knee surgeries is making me so upset. Maybe this is just my lack of real-world, adult, non-trivial knowledge showing, but these numbers seem far too fucking high. Are they laundering money through medical bills? 10K for hand stitches on Steve-o but 25K on Knoxville? Obviously, there can be different degrees of injuries, but we're talking about a hand here. As long as it's not like blown to smithereens (where I don't think stitches would do much help), I don't get how they can vary so much. Even in the good, ole U. S. of A. where it's the health care BUSINESS, not service, these numbers seem outrageous. I know dental work is expensive; after all, I'm paying $75/month for a Smile Direct Club membership that's still in the box because deep down, I'm scared to take the proper steps to be less gross and thus eliminating my excuses AND more importantly...they hurt to wear. But come on!!! 100 grand for TWO (2) replaced teeth? Did these new teeth have solid gold filling extracted from the King Tut mask??? Admittedly, I'm a little confused by the article. Are these prices with or without insurance? You have to assume they're not, right? I know insurance companies don't exactly like to help their customers, but I feel like they cover broken bones. Even if you don't have insurance, I've heard broken bones costing someone like 10, maybe 20 grand, but 300K for a broken ankle?? These have to be out-of-pocket prices. I guess I can wrap my head around a brain hemorrhage costing a couple mill, or a 15% skin graph approaching two comma territory, but $350,000 for ankle surgery? 700K for two (2) finger surgeries? Is that why Ronnie Lott chose to get his chopped off? Maybe I just don't know shit about medical bills (thank Jah), but these numbers seem outrageously high, and dare I say a little clickbaity? Did Dave England's tab include all the dry toilets he shat in? Cause that could add up fast. I'll gladly admit when I'm wrong, but I have a Paramore BANGER Hard Time(s) believing this data is anywhere close to accurate. It feels like we're just trying to create a little buzz for Jackass Forever (in theaters February 4th, 2022). If Knoxville has had 16 concussions (FOR FOUR MILLION BUCKS), the fact that he, his wife and children are still alive today is a miracle.
What do you think about these Bam-less Jackass medical bills? Sound off in the comments below! Song: Sleep Now in the Fire (1999) Artist: Rage Against the Machine Album: The Battle Of Los Angeles I certainly had plenty of RATM options! P.S.
Still so bummed Boston Calling 2020 didn't happen. I was sooo hyped to see Rage (and the 1975!) live. Get your fucking shot. |
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